top 3 reads for a harassed breastfeeding mom

no, not self-help bf manuals, but what "intellectual" stimulation i got while i bf the bean. these were my go-to reads because they were light volumes whose content didn't require massive amounts of concentration. so i give you my top 3 breastfeeding reads (come to think of it, they were the ONLY books/mags i read during all those bf hours*):

1. p.g. wodehouse is good, especially the collections of short stories. i found such light entertainment in slim tomes very suitable for the night feeds, and these were my bf companions when the bean was around 10-12 months. the only problem was trying to stifle the chortling at humorous passages.

2. no.1 ladies detective agency series. easy reads. good for constant putting downs and picking ups.

3. i have become quite hermit-like with regards to what goes on in the outside world and i rely on the economist magazine to keep me abreast of current affairs. but i have to admit that i really only read the letters column and the arts & books, technology/science and obituary sections! the economist obituaries are quite fascinating as it's usually about some obscure but, i guess, important (in some tangential way) personage. the only problem with the mag is the rustling of the pages which can sometimes stir an asleep-at-the-breast bub.

after coming up with this rather brief list, i realise that i have NOT done much with the time spent bf the bean when she was an infant. racking my memory, i think we did some bf while i watched the telly, while most times i think i just blanked out on a chair or the bed, probably listening to a cd of classical tunes for bubs.

hmmm...not very productive use of time. no wonder my brain is mush.

*these were during the bf stages of newborn to 1 year. past that the bean got too fidgety to make it easy for me to read anything while we bf.

her longest sentence to date

dh decided to get the bean out of my hair and let me have some rest today as i had a frightful night, with the bean crawling over to me for "me meo" (that's "milk milk" to the uninitiated) seemingly every hour or else asking "hand hand" (i.e. to hold her hand) the whole night.

however, his invitations to "go out with daddy" was just met with "no no mai" as she knew i wasn't coming along. finally, the bean made her point by saying, "ma mee, dair ee, you, out, now, peeeese".
(read: mummy, daddy, me, go out now please)

after much cajoling and bribery though, she set off with dh in the end.

* * *

footnote to the above
the bean gave a new interpretation to the phrase "asleep at the wheel" when daddy and bub were returning from their outing - she fell asleep on her trike!

dh rang me when they were at the top of the drive to the house, and i walked out to see her head resting on the handlebars with arms hanging over it and feet hardly touching the pedals as dh trundled her along. dh said that she didn't even stir when they went over humps.

probably remembering the countlessly retold story of how dh as a little laddie liked to crawl into the basket under his younger sibling's pram to sleep, dh admitted that the bean is definitely her daddy's daughter.

milk now please

the bean reserves the use of the P word for really urgent matters: bf-ing! that's when she doesn't need to be prompted.

this morning she sidled up to me and said in an almost coquettish manner, "ma mak now peeese?"

her father was rather amused/impressed with her deployment of 'please' to achieve her aims.

if i follow through on child-led weaning, i really wonder when the bean would give up bf. when she is about to bf she sometimes says, "yum yum!"

peek-a-boo / dress with poo

some interesting achievements:

1) peek ah boo
this morning, whilst her daddy was at his ablutions, the bean decided to play a trick on him. first, she went up to say 'hi', then after a moment, she loudly called out, "bye!" before walking out the bathroom. almost immediately though she was back to say, "peek ah boo!"
dh thought it hilarious and he was, i suspect, rather proud of her.

2) dress in poo
since today was the hottest it's been for the past 1.5 weeks, i deliberately left the bean nappy-less for most of the day and placed her 2 potties (yes, there are 2) in plain view of her play area.

the whole morning she avoided the potties quite steadily until the moment i was engaged somewhere else. when i came back to the living area i was surprised (albeit delighted too) to find her sitting on her potty. unfortunately, her nice jersey dress was tucked under her!

i went over to pull out the back hem of the dress and as i did so, what i feared might happen did occur: out plopped a nugget onto the carpet. sigh.

i didn't lose my cool over this as the bean did what she was supposed to do afterall, i.e. to poo in her potty, and she filled it admirably. so it's mummy's lesson: i have to put her in t-shirts instead of dresses.

p/s. i can't remember when it started but the bean is now calling me "ma ee" instead of "ba", the latter having been her name for me for the longest time - probably since she started making specific sounds to mean things actually.

gender-bending already?

at bathtime this evening i was bantering with the bean when she came up with something truly unexpected.

it started out simple enough...
me: "are you a little girl?"
bean: "nooo" (she said, not really looking at me as she was playing in the bath)
me: "are you a baby?"
bean: "nooo"
me: "are you an aeroplane?" (she was playing with a toy plane then)
bean: "nooo"
me: "are you a bird?"
bean: "nooo"
me: "are you a butterfly?"
bean: "nooo"
me: "what are you then?"
bean: (turning to me) "boy!" and she beamed brightly.

hmmm, should i worry?
maybe it explains why she is so hooked on breastfeeding... n-aaahhhhh

awww...cute! cont'd

this morning, bean said, "aw, cute!" to a spider! ok, so it was a cutely drawn little spider in a children's book, but still...?!

awwww...cute!

the bean hadn't seen her daddy for a couple of days as he was away on business, so when he rang this afternoon i called her over to speak to her father.

"dair Ee", she cried out as she took the receiver, beaming with joy. she answered a few questions from her daddy (whether she'd been a good girl for her mommy etc) to which she emphatically replied, "yessh" to all. i think he could've asked her if she'd been to the moon and she'd still have said "yessh".

then dh said, "i love you." so i asked her to say the same thing back. "i uh you" she said, which was immediately followed by her uttering, "aw, cute!" and trying to hug the phone.

she has been using this phrase ("aw, cute!") for a bit recently for anything worth cuddling and even some that aren't: pictures of bunny rabbits, teddy bears, dogs, cats, even butterflies, besides the 'real' teddy bears or other soft toys at home.

when she was being affectionate to me one time, she gave me a tight squeezy hug and said, "aw, cute!" too.

maybe she picked this up from when i read to her. if we see a picture of cute animals that would be what i tended to say...and perhaps i say it to her too. as in, "aw, sweetie, you're so cute!" before giving her a cuddle.

toddlerific idiosyncracies

just a short list of some of the bean's toddlerrific idiosyncracies:

a) the toothbrush tussle - when the bean insists on clamping down on the toothbrush so that you can’t brush her teeth properly, or she might simply keep turning her head away each time a toothbrush is brought to her so that you get to shove the toothbrush into the air with each manoeuvre! i’ve ended up doing the carrot-stick approach (“you get milk later” or “mummy will get VERY angry” when the former fails).

b) potty pugnacity - these days if she gets too caught up with playing or the (i admit this guiltily) telly, then she would rather go in her nappy instead of telling me about it so I can whip out the potty.

c) the potty-mouth echo - there were a few times when dh and i were not as careful with our speech as we should have been and the bean repeated our more colourful language with extreme accuracy. admittedly, this is quite an achievement since she doesn’t usually enunciate well. e.g. “heemah hee” (can you guess she means ‘christmas tree’?), “dairh-ee” (daddy), “fwy” (butterfly) et al.

d) birthday suit preference - lately she has decided that she would rather not get dressed when i take her out of her nightwear. so i have the joy of running after this naked child who takes delight in calling out “nayk” “nayk” (naked, naked) then pointing to her chest to proclaim, “neep” (nipple)!

e) mad dancing - the bean's combines a bit of that 60’s dance move The Monkey (arms go up and down) with spinning around till she stumbles dizzily. she likes to groove in this manner first thing in the morning, once she’s out of the bedroom, and it doesn’t matter if it’s to bach or barney, mozart or mickey mouse, it’s still the same dance.

our rare slinging moments

it's been a long time since i put the bean in a sling. i believe our previous experience was at the zoo nearly 2.5 months ago, when she refused to go into her stroller OR walk on her own. and that was with a beco.

but yesterday i had an opportunity to sling her again when we had cleaners come into the house. the bean is almost petrified of the korean couple - especially the man - and wanted to be held for at least the first 15 mins. they were here. so i popped her up into our trusty storch onto my back and she was quite happy, especially when i passed her knick knacks to play with back there. in fact she deposited a laundry ball down the back of my shirt.

coming out of her shell

after two terms and lots of dodging behind my legs, the bean is finally able to shake the directress's hand at our montessori playgroup...on the last day of term, of the year, no less.

the directress commented on how chatty the bean's become. and today, the bean was in top form.

she wouldn't shake the directress's hand at the start of our session but she looked at the other children, point to one and say the kid's name.

she really does like to point and say, or comment: "hair clip", "coin box", "put back chair", "mommy"...

btw, she now says "yessh" more than "yup", but it comes with a lisp, which i think is endearing.

during the singalong session, the bean took centrestage for a short while and stood up next to or in front of the directress to do all the actions to the songs. but not before she tried to pre-empt the directress by posing in 'rocketship' mode. the directress had to tell her, "no, not time to do 'rocketship' yet." ('rocketship' is the second last song we do, right before the 'goodbye' song.)

during the colour song, the bean took it upon herself to call out the colour we should sing for another child who was too shy to pick a colour. then when it came to her turn, after the directress asked what colour we should sing for her, the bean loudly proclaimed, "blooo!" and tweaked at her blouse.

at the end of the session the bean said goodbye to a few of the children. i believe she is the ONLY child to do so, as sadly, no one reciprocated. the directress mollified her by saying, "i don't think they heard you."

but i think her sociability today at our montessori playgroup is kind of unique. it takes her a long time to get comfortable in any new environment to be able to be so expressive.

so i wonder how the holiday break would influence her behaviour: would she become all shy and self-conscious again after 2 months away from the montessori environment? would she remember the directress and the other children?

we shall see.

naughty ant/ reach/ run/ tiptoe/ big hugs

just to continue from yesterday's post about the bean's ant bite...

this morning she wandered into the bathroom where dh was in the midst of his morning ablutions. there she pointed to the bathtub, repeating the words, "nauh anh".

dh was a bit nonplussed at first but then he understood. the bean was saying "naughty ant", showing him where the ant bite had taken place.

it is remarkable how, in the last 10 days or so, the bean has started stringing together rudimentary sentences.

anyhoo, today she began this fixation on "reee", where she would almost get up on tiptoe and raise her arms high. i later figured out she meant "reach". i don't know where she got this action from - the wiggles? little einsteins maybe? i think there is one segment on little einsteins when the kids exhort the audience to "raise your arms" (before yelling blast off) and perhaps that's where the bean has copied this from.

also today, she nearly tried tiptoeing. first time really that i had seen this. or at least it's the first time she deliberately brought it to my attention, by treading more carefully across the floor and saying, "teeh toe".

'tiptoe' came after she did a series of runs (called "wuns" - she does speak like a chinese who can't roll 'r's ) - she likes to back up some distance then 'run' (more like speed walk) into my outstretched arms. occasionally, she would modify the runs by spreading her arms wide, fall into my arms, and exclaim, "beee hug!" (i.e. big hug.)

I am You, You is Me

the bean hasn't quite gotten the hang of pronouns yet - she calls herself "you".

like when she sees a photo of herself, it's finger pointed and a loud, ecstatic "you!"

tonight, before falling asleep, she also tried her first three-word sentence: "ant (slight pause) bit (slight pause) you", and prodded the part of her neck where an ant had perhaps nibbled earlier in the evening.

she didn't seem particularly discomfited and she went to sleep after i put some ointment on the area. what was striking about the incident was her attempt to communicate. okay, so it was partly in imitation of me when i'd asked her, "did an ant bite you there?" but it does show her comprehension.

our dancing queen is sure demanding

when the bean wants to dance and i am dancing with her then she will not tolerate it if i stop (even if i got tired). she would utter, "no-no!" and grab me to get up again.

this happened today when we were in the lull before mickey mouse clubhouse and listening to mummy's special compilation of baby-pop music.

but today was not the first instance of this imperious behaviour. during a visit to a girlfriend's, when the bean was dancing to a singing toy bear (don't ask), she forced us 2 adults to dance along with her. my friend was exhausted by the end of the afternoon - from the beginning-to-irritate christmas carol 'sung' by the bear and the non-stop boogieing the bean demanded.

walking up stairs & running (the beginning)

the bean is a very cautious little girl. it took her a long time to crawl and it took her a long time before she walked. it's the same with walking up and down stairs without the need to hold onto something or on hands and knees.

however, yesterday i noticed that she was walking up and down, unaided, the short steps to the front lawn. AS WELL AS the step to the front door. it was the first time she did this in a sustained fashion. i was very pleased. and so was she.

she still hasn't quite mastered running yet, though in her mind when she walks super fast with arms jogging, it's a "wun" (run). very funny.

the bean's love of order

perhaps maria montessori is correct.

last week at the end of the montessori playgroup the bean decided to take out the skittles that were packed in a wheelbarrow. each skittle she took out she carefully laid on its side on a table, so that they formed a row. i looked at the directress who said that it's evidence of children's love for order. when i put one of the skittles upright for fear that it might roll off the table, the directress advised me to lay it back on its side and to prop a chair up to the table instead, or i'd risk upsetting the pattern that the bean's created (and thence risk upsetting the bean too).

then 2 days ago, when the bean was eating a banana (she doesn't like the banana to be chopped into pieces, she wants to hold it as it is peeled) i saw that one part of it had gone mushy brown. so i cut that piece off, but immediately she howled and wailed with hot tears of anger and frustration. when i showed her the piece i had cut off, she tried to put it back on the rest of the banana, but it was no use: the banana was no longer the same. fresh wails of anger ensued......well, i have certainly learnt my lesson!

excruciating shyness?

looking at the posts in the blog, it may appear as if the bean is some sainted cherub. far from it.

but actually, i don't think her behaviour differs much from most toddlers her age, save for one thing: her excruciating shyness in a group setting.

she's usually fine when she meets new people on a one on one basis (in my arms), but she seems frightened of group situations. e.g. when we enter her music class or her montessori playgroup she is always hiding behind my legs (or dh's), or tugging at my hand and dragging her feet, reluctant to go in. it takes nearly 1.5 hours of the montessori playgroup before she warms up and is ready to respond to people, so that by the end of the session she is then capable of waving goodbye, going up to other children with gestures of affection, and saying "bye".

i have found that she is most uncomfortable around strange adults. e.g. our new cleaners (whom we will only see once a fortnight), the postman...strangers on the street who want to comment on her cuteness etc. i guess this is also a good thing as we don't want her to be too trusting of strangers!

the bean needs to be toughened

we had a friend over recently who brought her 2 kids so that our children can play together. but this adult idea of happily playing kids turned out to be quite impossible.

my friend's 3 year old son, who had been quite sweet if very high spirited before, was very aggressive with the bean that day.

when he wasn't tearing around on the bean's little red car, he was skim reading books and throwing toys and books on the floor...so far that's normal little boy antics...but in between all that he kept going over to glower at the bean, arms akimbo, muttering threats: "you are NOT riding the car", "you can't have the book", "you can't have the biscuit", "you can't have my water"...even when she wasn't anywhere near the items.

meanwhile, every book or toy that dd picked up would be snatched from her and he would shove and use his superior height and size to intimidate. the bean would then frown and run and sit on my lap. no complaints or whines from her AT ALL mind you, which made me both proud of her and also sad; whatever overtures she made to the 2 children were misinterpreted as encroachment on their turf (even though it was her house, her books and her toys). so she became quite silent during their entire visit. (the only time she was very vocal was when they were leaving, and her goodbyes were decidedly loud.)

finally towards the end of their visit, and almost predictably, the boy shoved the bean who fell on her back, hit her head on the floor and bawled. she's very unused to other children being so physical and it took a while for her to calm down. my friend got her son to apologise to the bean, twice, because the first time he was quite perfunctory.

but all this aggression resulted in the bean vomitting. i was a bit worried at first, wondering if it was from her fall, but my friend said it was probably stress induced.

i wonder what made that little boy behave in this manner. it was all unprovoked as well, since the bean was very accommodating, being quite happy for the company and wanting to share her toys. in fact, when they first arrived, she picked up a soft toy and brought it to them. i did notice that as the visit progressed the bean stopped doing that and began to imitate their 'snatching' manner.

my friend told me that her son had been behaving this way since he joined a playgroup where there were older, bullying boys. if there are no other underlying reasons for her son's behaviour, then it certainly proves how like sponges are children this age, with very little idea of the consequences of their actions.

here's another case for the kids-as-sponges simile: my friend's daughter, who's a few months younger than the bean, copies almost everything her big brother does and says. so after he tried to kick the bean, his sister did too.

if the bean had suffered any psychological or emotional damage from this encounter, the proof was when i asked the bean if she likes the 2 children, to which her reply was, "Yea!"

it's truly amazing how children bounce back.

dh was very nonchalant about it, saying that the bean will have forgotten about this incident on the morrow. i know he's right...but for me it was really hard to see the bean bullied. and i have at least another 18 years of such heartbreak. i guess i just need to get her (and me) toughened up.

"ah yea!"

one of my worst fears has just been realised. the bean has got a bad case of oz-ilitis.

our little neanderthal doesn't know how to enunciate properly yet, and some of her speech sounds decidedly aussie.

to wit: "ah yeaaa!" (deployed e.g. whenever she finds something she's been asked about), "yea" (instead of 'yes'), "nah" (instead of 'no').

what mommy watches on tv these days

our fave telly
i really like the abc channel's playschool. the theme song is gentle and there are always lots of interesting crafts and different songs introduced each day (it comes on 5 days a week for half an hour).

i think it's very creative and the pace is very suited for young children. during winter, the programme was put on a half hour later than it is now, so these days i try to ensure dd's naps end in time for the start of the show on its new time slot.

hence, tv time starts at 3pm with playschool if the bean wakes up in time. then there is a break for outdoor play / reading / other games, before the 5 o'clock run: playhouse disney's mickey mouse clubhouse and little einsteins, then a switch to nick jr's the wonder pets and 64 zoo lane.

today the bean actually said, "bye bye loo see" at the end of 64 zoo lane when the main character, lucy, goes off to sleep. i like this show as it has refreshingly british accents; the stories told by the zoo animals are aesop-ish; the animation aesthetic is sweetly crayon-like; and, the theme song is sung with real children's voices instead of adults pretending to be cutesy kids.

if the bean was older i think she would enjoy the upside down show (nick jr) more, which i think is very inventive and funny. i wonder what she makes of it most of the time. a good indication of whether any tv show bores her is if she wanders off after a while to do other things, which she does with this show and the wiggles.

of all the shows (that i permit her to watch, heh heh), she seems to prefer little einsteins and the wonder pets. i wonder if it's because the animation is quite representational of real life objects and animals, especially in the latter programme.

if we were out and i wanted to get the bean back home quickly, she would not respond to "do you want to watch mickey mouse?" but would to "want to go home to watch little einsteins?" when she watches the programme, she will imitate the actions they ask of viewers - to pat their knees, bellies, raise arms up etc.

and on the wonder pets, everytime the duck comes on screen, dd would point and say its name, "ming ming." often, she would give a small shy smile as she does so too. it's a testament to the attractiveness of the programme that even dh likes it.

apart from actual programmes, the bean seems to like the characters that people the kids channels' interstitials, especially the monkey puppets ooh and ahh from playhouse disney (i swear the bean now says "ooh ooh ahh ahh" for monkeys because of them).

shows mommy dislikes
top of my list is hi-5. after sitting through about 2-3 episodes i found i can't stand the pseudo-bubbly-giggly behaviour of the female cast members. their fakely saccarhine 'uh herh herh' laughter makes me want to pick up a heavy inanimate object and hurl it forcefully at them. i think charli is probably the worst offender. somebody slap her!

there is also something vaguely disturbing about their dressing (teenybopper hooker and wannabe boyband-ish) and all that indiscriminate pop music. once they even incorporated house music into a routine and had the cast bopping along like ecstasy addicts - appalling bad taste.

compared to hi-5, the wiggles is infinitely preferable, but the bean is bored by those 4 men too. not that i'm complaining. given a choice between 4 middle-aged troubadours and the wonder pets i would choose the small cuddly, furry superheroes too. (the wiggles are on at the same time as the wonder pets.)

besides hi-5, i really hate abc's tiny planets. i know there is an educational message in there but the animated aliens give me goosebumps. they are hideous and their planet is so abstract and weird that i don't think the bean would be able to find any relevance in it at all. everytime i hear the theme song i just have to switch off the tv - it gives me such chills.

ranking lower on my dislike list is dora the explorer. it has some educational value but dora (everyone on the show actually) SHOUTS INSTEAD OF TALKS ALL THE TIME. it's like listening to someone drilling the pavement - goes through my skull. do the producers think that children need to be enthused to in cheerleading fashion in every single sentence? a very dumbed down notion.

lazy town and the doodlebops are very similar looking programmes with creepily costumed characters. just yuck yuck yuck yuck.

humpty dumpty had a big splash

swim lessons
the humpty dumpty rhyme is one of the tactics used to inspire young children to leap off the sides of swimming pools into their parents' arms. and it seems to work with the bean.

we've just completed our 3rd swim lesson. and she likes to climb out of the pool (we are supposed to let them do this by themselves so that they gain strength and it becomes a good habit/technique) to sit by the side of the pool ('sitting on the wall') and then to throw herself ('has a great fall!') into my waiting arms, giggling as she does so. "more?!" is usually her immediate request.

these weekly swim lessons are really just fun sessions that hopefully instil more water confidence. she is always happy to go to the swimming centre and gets very excited by the water features of the toddler pool (i.e. the little bubbling fountains) and the toys the instructor always has for the kiddies.

one of the games we play is to have the children take turns geting up onto a large rectangle float and walk/run across it and into the arms of the waiting parent at the other end.

today, it was great to see her toddling (almost running even) quickly over to me, whereas before she would rather crawl or move along on her bum (to my mortification) than get up to her feet on this floating contraption!

the bean loves "o-ju!"

the little terror has been more talkative the past few weeks and imitating sounds/words we say all the time now.

fer ince...last sunday whilst we were in the blue mountains doing the tourist thing, dh was getting dd into her stroller when her hat got knocked off into the muddy ground. without thinking he uttered, "oh shit", which was echoed by dd the next second, enunciating very clearly too. it is very funny but it just shows how we need to curb our swearing when she's within earshot!

she's also beginning to try more disyllabic words and attempting more than one word at a time too: "o-jus" (orange juice) for one, and "nigh nigh bear" (night night bear).

"noooo, red!"

last night she threw a small wobbly as she got ready for bed.

it's always a bit of a tussle getting her to put on her night nappy and pjs and last night was no different.

after i got the nappy on i slipped off her bathrobe and pulled over her head 2 long-sleeved t-shirts (it was nippy). but as it came over her head she wailed, "noooooooo!"

then she tugged at it trying to pull it off, crying, "bluuuuuuuuuue!"
that was when i realised she didn't want to wear it for its colour.

so i quickly pointed out that there was another t-shirt underneath which was red. she looked suspiciously at the red cuffs but then resumed her protests. i persisted and finally placated her by asking if she wanted me to read her a bedtime story. needless to say, she calmed down immediately.

the bean picks a near-winner

we went to the melbourne cup this year (6 november, tues) - our first time - and thankfully were ensconced in a very nice corporate marquee right in front of the winning post. naturally, the bean came with us. we wouldn't have left her with a babysitter either in sydney or melbourne.

we saw very few children at flemington that day. i spotted a young girl around 10-11 years old (maybe a bit older?) and there was a very young toddler (younger than the bean) in a pram. and that was about it, but i don't know if there were more in the public stands or other enclosures.

i was a little apprehensive about what sort of food would be suitable for the bean at flemington and if there would be a convenient and clean area to feed or change her.

in the end, the servers in the marquee arranged for french fries to be brought out to the bean and also some chicken pies. we avoided the fancy canapes as much as possible but i tried the bean on a fish roe, which she loved. for naps, we brought along our foldable stroller and that's where she spent about a half hour in during her midday sleep.

she was really a very good little toddler for most of the day; happy to play with the gravel and sand outside the marquee near the flowerbeds and to spin around on the grass lawns. she also liked to pick up the wood chips and earth inside the large flower pots. i don't know why small children are so attracted to dirt.

there was a fountain in the enclosure which captivated the bean. she would stand on the rim of the fountain's little pond and kept repeating, "bye!" at it - heaven knows why. the fountain had lion heads decorated around it spouting water and the bean would point and roar in recognition.

most importantly, the bean helped us where it counted most - the bets. daddy unfolded the newspaper, showing her the section featuring all the jockey colours (and patterns) and asked her which colour she liked. she gave a cursory glance and jabbed at a plain dark blue jersey right at the end of the row. then she impatiently poked a couple more jerseys in the middle.

we took a look at where her stubby fingers had been and decided on the following:

• mahler (her first choice) - 3rd in the race
• purple moon - 2nd in the race
• master o'reilly - the day's favourite but which fared disappointingly in the race

apart from the above, we hedged with bets on zipping (came in 4th) and dolphin jo (because it was a female jockey).

so the bean didn't let us down - she did pretty good in fact and we didn't lose much overall at the races.

i thought she would be more fascinated with the horses, but they flew by us so quick i don't think she could appreciate them much. she did "nay" (neigh) several times whenever she spotted the white ones the stewards were riding, but she was more interested in climbing up and down the stands during the races.

the bean tells a joke...

...sort of

last night, the bean took a plastic octopus from her bathtub back into the bedroom.

as i was putting on her night nappy and leg warmers i decided to distract her by asking some questions:

me: "what's this?" (pointing to the octopus) "is it a spider?"
bean: "no", taking a cursory glance at it and looking away (i think she was playing with something else at the time - could've been my watch)

me: "is it a fish?"
bean: "no"

me: "is it a crab?"
bean: "no", not even bothering to look up by this time

me: "is it mummy?"
bean: "no", after she glanced at me and the octopus to see if i was crazy

me: "is it po po?"
bean: "no", not looking at me

me: "is it gong gong?"
bean looked at me and slowly said, "yes".

i laughed and said, "surely it isn't! what is it?"
bean: "puhs!" (for octopus) pointing right at the octopus's head

"wheee!"

"peeease?"
the bean aka the monkey has been using the P word for several weeks now. with prompting 90% of the time. but she does deploy it as ammo for when she wants to bf. lately, she would trot to me with a sweet smile then look at me with a semi-desperate "meee" (her word for mommy) followed by "mirk peeease".

"wheee!"
i forgot to include this in the (short) list of W words. "wheeee" is the bean's word for swings. because one says "wheeee" when one sits on the swing of course.
but she also says "wheeee" when we're going downhill in the car.

"beeek" = beach
one very hot spring day we took the bean to the beach. not 5 minutes in the car she became impatient and began to repeat "beeek". when her po po told her that we would be there soon, the bean stared at her, then a few minutes later, her chant of "beeek" and unhappy fidgeting would start all over, so it was no use her po po trying to placate (or trick) her.
as soon as she caught a glimpse of the azure sea, however, she gave a joyful cry of "beeek!" and was finally happy and gurgling.
it makes me cringe at the thought of future car rides: "are we there yet?" or "why is it taking so long?" is sure to be an irritating refrain...

"mai mai mai!"
of all the teochew words to pick up, the one the bean has is "mai" for "no"...and she really uses it well too. sigh...

our 2nd term @ the under 3s class & a couple of W words

1st day back at school

the bean's under 3s class has started again and it was amusing to see her orientate herself to the school and the other children. because of the break i think she was quite excited to be back and kept looking at everything and everyone, not being able to keep still for too long. i think most of the other mothers found their children behaving the same way. it will probably take another week or 2 for them to settle down again.

anyhow, it is nice to see the bean being more vocal too - even when the directress wasn't addressing her!

during the sing-along session, one of the songs we regularly sing is when we pick a colour from the child's outfit and then sing about it. today, it so happened that there were quite a few children wearing blue. when the directress asked a second child in blue if we should sing about "blue", the bean nodded enthusiastically. then when the directress asked a third child if we could sing about his blue polo t-shirt, the bean actually said, "no", to the twitters of the other mothers who were sitting nearby. i guess by that point the bean had tired of the colour. (the boy who was asked didn't say a word.)


"whale!"*

here are a few more words that the bean would really say out loud (most of her other words are still gibberish sounding):
- whale (when she sees her soft-soled shoes with the whale motif or plastic whale figurine)
- wheel (when she sees a picture of anything that resembles one - even pinwheels)
- watch (it sounds more like "wak")

she can identify a few of the alphabet letters and some of the numbers. we are slowly working on number concepts, counting and the alphabet of course, but no pressure. most of the time it is the bean who points out the letters and numbers to me and asks me for their name. it was this regular activity of hers that has gotten me to work on introducing the alphabet and numbers more formally to her.

* btw, the bean doesn't say the letter "w" yet

cloth nappies at 'large'

we have remained at medium-long to large sized nappies for a while now as the Bean's weight, mass and figure fluctuate. she has slimmed down loads (sigh, i miss my chubby baby) and the legholes of the fuzzibunz in L are really too big, so her petite sized fuzzis are the best fit.

but my favourite going-out nappies are the swaddlebees snaps. these are very slim-fitting and are great for clothes that aren't designed for cloth nappies.

i also have 2 all-in-one monkey doodlezes and they aren't too bad if i don't forget to leave the Bean in them for more than 2-3 hours.

for nights, i really like the combo of fleece night bearbottoms (covers) and bumgenius fitteds.

i am sort of looking forward to putting her in training pants. i've bought 2 bummis ones that seem quite good but wonder how much wee they can hold. i have also a selection of brightbots that are very cute.

carrying conversations with herself

this is actually a phenomenon that started a few months ago but which i had not reported here:
before she began forming actual words (at least any that are intelligible to her parents, that is), i caught the Bean once holding forth to herself just before bedtime. she would mutter something in a questioning tone and then make a "unh uh" reply. this she kept doing for a goodish while before she suddenly looked at me, perhaps realising that she was being watched, and smiled a cheeky smile.

i guess her "call and response" was essentially based on what hub unit and i had/have been doing with her - asking her questions about pictures or whether she loves so-and-so etc - and her own replies.

anyhow, now she is doing this with recognisable words:
"ye ye?" "no"
"nai nai?" "no"
"po po?" "no" ... ...

echoing our questions: "do you love ye ye?", "do you love po po?" etc.

what a funny little girl...

some misconceptions about montessori

there is a lot of misunderstanding and misconceptions about the montessori educational philosophy. some of it is because there are a lot of schools that use the term "montessori" but actually have varying methods and approaches, leading to different experiences. "montessori" was a brand name that has been widely appropriated and almost any school or nursery can claim to be montessori if it adopts some of the methodologies and principles.

the under 3s programme that the Bean is enrolled in, however, pretty much follows the spirit and letter of the programme that was developed by dr maria montessori and the principles set by the AMI (Association Montessori Internationale).

but i thought i'd broach some misconceptions here, anyway:

1) someone told me that the montessori system is very "italian".

well, the only thing italian about it is the name and its founder. in fact, dr montessori was actually rebelling against the italian education system of her time when she developed her teaching methods, which originated from her first pedagogical experience - with slum children who were at the time considered delinquent and of 'sub-normal' intelligence.
a medical doctor by training (she was the first female graduate doctor in italy!), dr montessori was inspired by the pioneering work of a french educationist, edouard seguin, whose didactic materials she used and adapted for her class of children of different ages.
thereafter, using her clinical training, she observed the children in her school and developed her own teaching methodology and materials, just as any scientist might observe, analyse and then deploy new experiments.

*more info on the development of her methods can be found in the biography by rita kramer - see references below.


2) the montessori system is stiflingly structured and requires children to sit and work quietly by themselves. in describing the montessori system to others, i too have been guilty of reducing it: "quite japanese in style" was what i said, perhaps leading other people to assume that meant strict structure.

i spoke to the bean's montessori directress about this and she said that it is quite a common misconception. but she said that the system is not about creating quiet and obedient children or requiring children to be so. the nature of each child would not change through the programme: a sociable child will still be a sociable child, an active child will remain active. however, she said that the environment and the materials there inspire the child to want to master his or her chosen activity.
she then told me an experience she had with one hyperactive boy. he was admitted into the school aged 2.5 years, which is a little late for the under 3s programme.
his first week ('day' really, since the programme runs weekly) at school he was jumping and running everywhere, but on his second week, he went to one of the activities ('watering flowers') and asked how it was done. after watching the directress demonstrate it once, he actually completed the entire activity by himself AND THEN he decided to repeat it not once but four times.
the directress said that she was amazed at his concentration powers, thinking at first that he was going to jump around and spill the water. in fact, he did not spill a drop of water from the watering can. she said that he decided on this activity himself; and that he wanted to do it over and over showing how much influence the environment and the materials have on young children.
unfortunately, the boy's mother was not very patient waiting for him to complete his work and the next week, she rang the school to say that she was pulling him out because he does not suit the montessori style - he was naturally active and she did not want him to be locked into too structured activities.
the directress thought it was a pity that the mother missed what her son achieved on that second class, as well as the fact that it was her son who chose the activity himself and enjoyed it so much he did it five times.


3) montessori gives too much power to the child in academics and there is no way of finding out how much or well he is learning.

in the 3-6++ years montessori schools, "there are no text books, and seldom will two or more children be studying the same thing at the same time. Children learn directly from the environment, and from other children—rather than from the teacher. The teacher is trained to teach one child at a time, with a few small groups and almost no lessons given to the whole class. She is facile in the basic lessons of math, language, the arts and sciences, and in guiding a child's research and exploration, capitalizing on interests and excitement about a subject. Large groups occur only in the beginning of a new class, or in the beginning of the school year, and are phased out as the children gain independence. The child is scientifically observed, observations recorded and studied by the teacher. Children learn from what they are studying individually, but also from the amazing variety of work that is going on around them during the day." (michael olaf)
so yeah, this is misconception is understandable, especially in hyper-competitive educational environments, and here i am thinking of singapore primarily with its kiasu-ness.
i too am very interested in finding out how much each child gets out of such a system and how it compares with 'traditional' or mainstream schooling.
the author and montessori teacher paula polk lillard said that she found by letting children choose the topic they want to research they can actually develop a project in depth, incorporating various academic disciplines in the process.
i am hoping to observe classes at a montessori preschool and primary school in the coming weeks and will report on my impressions here.

references:

• Kramer, R. (1988). Maria Montessori. London: Hamish Hamilton Ltd.
• Montessori Philosophy, AGE 3-12+ YEARS - http://www.michaelolaf.net/1CW312MI.html
• Lillard, P. (1996). Montessori Today: A Comprehensive Approach to Education from Birth to Adulthood. New York : Schocken Books.

the bean defies mummy

for some weird reason, the bean has decided that she would rather not say the word green anymore.

lately (past 3 days or so), whenever i point at something that's green and ask her what colour it is, she would mumble something that sounds like "yellow" (a much garbled "grau grau" sound). and one time, she even made an annoyed "tsk" sound before ignoring me.

this comes after she kept blissfully saying "gweeeeeeeeen" for a few days. i wonder why she's turned off "green" and if she's turned off more from the questions about the colour.

she would, however, happily tell me the name of (most) any other colour: purple, red, blue, on occasion even yellow. she can't pronounce orange yet; i just accept whatever utterance she gives me even if it sounds nothing like it.

btw, a note on poop. lately, she has decided that if she is too busy watching tv or playing with her toys, then she would prefer to say no to the potty and poop in her nappy! it's happened at least twice in 2 weeks.

just 2 days ago she was fidgeting whilst playing with her peg board, so i told her i would get the potty to her. she made a sound of protest but kept focused on her activity. when i came back to her with her potty i made a perfunctory "do you want to sit on your potty?" to which she replied, "no."

my rejoinder was "of course you'd say that" and proceeded to put her on it nonetheless.

her po po, who is visiting us at the moment, laughed and said that the bean had nodded her head to the same question when she asked her a minute ago though.

anyhow, even though she told me "no", the bean did very successfully fill the entire potty - whilst playing with her peg board game.

my mom said that the bean's asserting her will now and to brace myself for more protests, confrontations and back-talks.

sigh...the terrible 2s have really begun.

"no no no" + poo-poohing poo + sleeping through the night

during and after her illness, most of the Bean's latest words have been double syllabic. E.g. "purple", her current favourite colour; i think because she can pronounce it. she doesn't say "red" or "green" or "yellow". she can say "blue" though, calling red and green "blue" too!

then for the past 2-3 days she has finally begun uttering the dreaded 2-letter word: N-O. it is sort of every parent's nightmare: will this usher in the era of the Terrible Twos? does this mean she is going to assert her prerogative through denials of everything?

so far though, it has been helping her help me make decisions, which means i can offer her other options, narrowing the field.
to wit:
do you want to read this book? "no."
do you want to wear this pair of socks? "no."
do you want to eat your cruskit? "no no no."

we shall see if her newfound 'negativity' will lead to actual pitched battles (albeit of limited vocabulary).

with the illness behind us, the Bean is back on her potty, pooping properly, although she tends to be pooping in the evenings right before falling asleep.

and here's another happy matter to report: the Bean is sleeping through the night! yippee kai yeee!

two mondays ago i weaned her off night feeds* by pretending to be asleep and ignoring her snuffling and whimpering and crying for about half an hour. she got tired after a while and fell back asleep again, to wake only at around 7-ish a.m. for her morning milk feed.

she does sometimes still wake up suddenly (either fully or half-wake) in the middle of the night, but it is usually just the one time, then she goes back to sleep again after some patting and if i let her hold my hand. however, this too is occurring less and less now.

it is fabulous as it means that there is now continuous sleep for me at night.

* i still let her feed to sleep. this means that overall, we've cut down our bf to around 3-4 feeds on a 24 hr cycle: a pre-breakfast feed, post-lunch nap feed, sometimes another afternoon feed before tea, and a good night feed.

recent viral troubles

We had a couple of trying weeks not long ago, which partly explains the blog silence (but not fully), with the Bean contracting a viral infection that led to a bacterial one.

That meant what I thought was just a gunky runny nose (that lasted nearly 4 weeks) became something more serious when she began throwing up and having very high fevers (at one point reaching over 39 degrees celsius).

The GP was consulted. Apparently all babies and young children throw up when they get too hot. It is their bodies's natural reaction, to cool down by expelling liquids. The doc also said that the Bean may become constipated because of the loss of fluids and appetite. She suggested that I try watermelon or a sweet fruit before trying her on her usual meals. The sweetness will whet her appetite. We were given a prescription for antibiotics but told not to administer this for a few days till the Bean's situation worsens or if she doesn't get better.

So we waited an excruciating 2-3 more days before finally giving the Bean the antibiotic mixture. Thankfully, and sensibly, this particular antibiotic mixture is actually sweet and doesn't have a nasty bitter aftertaste (unlike the concoction prescribed by a doc in S'pore which was most foul). The Bean took to the medicine very well - it tastes like a banana/fruit shake - and so nearly did the hub unit, who did most of the administering. He really does have a deft way with giving the Bean medicine. It involves pretending to feed her toys, himself and mummy, the medicine before offering a dose to the bub. It usually works a treat. But of course, it helps that this medicine tasted good.

But one nasty effect from the Bean being ill was that she was mainly pooping into her nappies. It was disgusting as alternating with constipation was runny poo - an outcome of eating very very little and drinking mainly water. Her poo was also sticky and dark - gross.

She was even off breastfeeding for around 2-3 days, which was most worrisome. I had counted on nourishing her with breastmilk as was the usual practice whenever she got ill, so this unexpected outcome was troubling. However, it was probably because she had a sore throat. She had passed her illness to me and I also had a sore throat for a few days but I got over it quickly with herbal gargle mixtures and sucking lots of herbal throat lozenges.

Anyhow, she has recovered fully now and it is so wonderful to see her appetite come back. It was terrible to be able to see her ribs and a single chin; I was so used to my chubby girl. But she is putting some flesh back on again, so I am relieved.

a scatalogical report (at 18.5 months)

it's been nearly 10 months of consistently putting the bean on the potty first thing in the morning, and i think she is definitely "potty-trained" in terms of #2s ("poo" rhymes with "two")!

we have yet to fully start catching #1s but the cold weather is our excuse at the moment.

we did have a couple of accidents during these past 10 months:
- she pood in her bath once (this was early on in our 'programme' though)
- she didn't tell me about her wanting to go till midway through and when i was getting her out of her nappy to put her on the potty a little "present" fell out. this actually happened twice in oz: once in the serviced apartment and the other in our new place.
- she's weed in the bath i think 3 times now

but we are making huge progress as she now very clearly tells me when she wants to poo. usually she utters an "uh oh", clutches her nappy area and gives me a stricken look. lately, when i ask her if she wants to sit on her potty her face lights up and she often smiles and nods enthusiastically.

it has often been the case that she won't nap (daytime) or sleep (nighttime) until she has gone on the potty too. i guess it's like any adult really - we can't go to sleep unless we are comfortable and relieved.

just before we moved to australia, we visited my parents in singapore. we had gone out one day and on the way back to my parents' in the car she started to indicate that she wanted to go. we asked if she could hold on till we got home. she was unhappy and tense but she did hold off till we could put her on the potty. this was a few months' ago and it certainly shows that young children CAN control their motions if trained/habituated.

a couple of weeks ago while we were at the beach, we met 2 other mommies with daughters the same age as the bean (a real coincidence). all 3 girls were about the same size too. and all 3 got really wet and sandy and had to be changed at the beach. when the other women saw that i use cloth nappies they asked if it was easier and how did i cope with poos. i told them that with these nappies i just used to 'roll' the poos off into the toilet and flush! and that besides, my daughter had already stopped pooing in her nappies. at the last comment they both looked shocked and asked how did i know when she wants to poo. "she tells me", was my rather surprised reply.

it horrifies me to think of the number of disgusting nappies i'd have to wash if i had NOT started potty training early. EEEWWWW! anyhow, one of the enrolment conditions of the bean's (potential) preschool is that the child be potty-trained. i read somewhere that schools need a special licence or something to admit children who aren't potty-trained. maybe it is to prevent child abuse or it could be a hygiene issue (or both?). so i am hoping that now we are catching #2s, we will get progress to #1s soon...as soon as the weather warms up!

the start of the down under chronicles...

hmmm...it's been quite a few months since i updated this blog. (hide face in shame)

we've done many things since the last entry. but the key things are:

1. relocating from malaysia to australia!
2. moving into our 'permanent' home from the serviced apartment
3. enrolling the bean in an under-3s montessori playgroup

the relocation & settling-in
the settling-in period didn't take too long as both hub-unit and i are rather familiar with oz. me having done my uni studies here yonks ago, while hub-unit has been coming here for work and holidays for quite a few years. the weather the first month was also pretty welcoming. instead of the onset of winter chill, it was lovely hot sunny days and crisp nights. but i have to admit that hub-unit's company had also provided us with a relocation agent who drove us round to see properties we could rent and who had also given us a bag full of maps and other useful settling-in information. that was helpful. plus, after 2 weeks of relying on taxis (expensive!) we hired a car and that made life easier, as i could drive around to orientate myself while the bean napped.

the bean loved being here from the very first day. she loved that we took her out on walks everyday - it was very convenient to have a good playground near us. in fact, she would go stir-crazy if kept indoors for too long (okay, so the serviced apartment was pretty dinky and claustrophobic) and would bring me her shoes or mine to indicate that she wanted to go out.

we also have a few friends here and it was very good to meet up with them. there's one girl with 2 young children - one older and one younger than the bean - and we share similar parenting philosophies it's been really comforting!

moving house
after the house hunt, our next big issue was to get all our barang-barang from the international movers and to move into our permanent rental home. some people have said that 'permanent rental' sounds oxymoronic. but all it means is that it's a rental property and it's our permanent base in oz until such time we get evicted or hub-unit's company transfers him.

unfortunately, by the time of our move (early june), the weather didn't hold any longer and the rains came with a vengeance. (for a short time it was good for the farmers on the whole although quite a lot of places were badly flooded.) it was a bad week to move but we had to do it - there was no point paying for both the serviced apartment and the new place!

kudos has to go to hub-unit who had been travelling on business. he came back and did nearly all the unpacking and moving of furniture, while i looked after the bean. by the way, my limited exposure here seems to suggest that nearly all the more menial jobs are done by large pacific islanders. e.g. the movers - all burly men, and the cleaners for the serviced apartment - 2 friendly fijian ladies.

i don't recall all the details of how we survived the dust, the boxes, the paper stuffing and the general chaos, but we did. we spent the first week or 2 in the guestroom, as we only had one bed. then we bought one for the master bedroom - a shorter one without any platform edges, so that the bean can clamber up and down it with ease. (yes, she still co-sleeps! that's another story though...)

we did have my parents over the 2nd week of our move and it was fantastic. firstly, the bean was over the moon to see them. at the airport she clung onto her popo like a barnacle and wouldn't let go much to her gonggong's disgruntlement as he wanted to have cuddles too. and secondly, my parents could babysit her while i did some things on my own. thirdly, it meant that all 3 of us got to eat very well.

schooling
this is possibly a bit controversial. we, alright, i decided that something a bit more structured than the playgroup the bean went to at the neighbourhood centre was required. that playgroup was essentially just free-play for the kids while the parents yarned and had coffees. i felt that the bean was a bit out of place there, being younger than most of the other kids and not yet able to share or play with anyone. in fact, the other children would come over and take away her toys. there was quite a bit of bad behaviour that i didn't want her to pick up either.

so after some research, i found a playgroup using the montessori educational philosophy and decided to enrol her. this is actually more like a school than a playgroup: there are fees, waitlists and a teacher (but they call teachers 'directors'). parents/carers are required to attend with the children and in fact, to guide/watch over them, but the director who is montessori-trained helps to direct the children in their individual work/activity. i know that there will be folks who object to such young children 'working' but it's all stuff that they like to do anyway, such as puzzles, fitting keys into locks, reading, singing songs, etc. but it just does not have the boisterous, noisy environments that one finds in other playgroups. the environment here is a 'prepared' one i.e. there are set areas for play and work - all with child-sized furniture and implements which the bean finds endlessly fascinating.

we're into our 3rd week of our first term. it's just a once a week programme. the children learn to do a lot of things for themselves and some of the things the bean has been exposed to are: how to wash hands properly, how to pour water from a jug into a glass, how to spread butter onto a biscuit.

there is something i find very japanese about the montessori system that i will try to describe later. right now my brain is a little fried...alright, it's been fried since i became pregnant!

i guess the key things each child is taught are that there are steps to doing everything and while they don't have to get every step done right, they should follow through and learn how to start and end each task/activity.

the children in this playgroup are aged from 18 months to just under 3 years. at 3 quite a lot of aussie children start preschool (not mandatory), then kindergarten (at 5-6 years) which is compulsory. and there are waitlists for EVERYTHING. currently, the bean is on the waitlist for a montessori preschool (i.e. for 3-6 year olds), and on the waitlist for a long daycare centre for the start of next year. i am reconsidering whether she should go into long daycare (i'd go for the minimum of 2 days a week only), as it is for nearly a full day each visit and i would fret about being away from her for such a long time.

so...i will be looking for some alternatives. maybe hire a babysitter for once a week so that i can do other things next year. as this has not been broached to hub-unit, we shall see how it goes.

strange animal sounds

have to update with the bean's latest: making animal sounds for the beasts she recognises instead of saying their names.

she used to be able to say "cat" and "dog" but now she prefers to just make muffled woof-ing (for 'dog') and a strange kind of strangled noise for cats. (or has she forgotten how to say the words?!) 'cow' is of course just a "mooooo", and 'sheep' is "ba".

with dh's encouragement, she now can raise her right arm followed by an approximate elephant bellow. a guttural pseudo-growl is for 'lion'. she can make the sign for 'monkey', which she does by raising both elbows (arms akimbo) and hanging her hands down, but she doesn't do the "oo oo oo" noise yet.

the only animal she can pronounce is "duck"!

she still calls a butterfly "fwy" and a flower "fwah". "Car" and "star" are okay though. but for 'aeroplane' she would do twists with raised elbows and make a "rrrrr" noise.

her favourite books are dear zoo, the karen katz baby box of fun trio, and poppy cat's dream. (generally, lift-the-flap type books score well with the bean.) when she first received the last mentioned --- it was one of her 1st birthday's prezzies --- she would be happy to hear it read half a dozen times. it's usually this book she's thinking of when she insists on a "buk".

her funniest words/phrase though is "ah oh" for "uh oh" . it therefore amuses her popo greatly to say "ah pei" (teochew for "ah white") in response, as "ah oh" sounds like "ah black" in the chinese teochew dialect.

ok, a list of the other things she knows (that i can remember off the top of my head):
- body parts: elbow, hands, fingers, toes*, feet, knees, bellybutton, head, hair, ears, nose, mouth, teeth (which she shows me by opening her mouth and running her tongue over her top row of 4 teeth!), and tongue (she waggles her tongue and makes a funny ululating sound)
- other animals & things: chair, door, hat, shoes, socks*, baby, bird, fish, octopus, dolphin, giraffe, bear*, frog* ("fwog"), rabbit, caterpillar, turtle, polar bear, snake, apple ("puh"), milk, mommy, daddy, popo
- concepts & actions: bye*, round*, up & down (most of the time i think), pat, clap, walk, no (but she does it anyway!...roll eyes...), sing, dance, kiss

*words she would actually try to say, even if some are not very distinct sounding.

she walks!

it's been a week now of dd toddling --- sometimes unsteadily, ok --- but it's a definite milestone marking her preference for walking over crawling.

the short chronicle
my parents came up and were amazed at the difference a two-week absence made. when they were last up dd was just beginning to take a couple of tentative steps. then it gradually became more (as documented on this blog). but something must've clicked last week. it occurred i think when we visited a friend and her son (who's 2 weeks younger than dd) last tuesday (27 march). for the first time, dd didn't mind walking in front of other people (read: non-family members), and was happy to toddle for a few steps here and there, clutching food and/or toys. when we came home from that visit, leah seemed more confident and walked a lot more than usual. when dh came home from work he noticed that her demeanour had changed and she seemed very happy about walking.

then the next day (28th) when we visited our local mommy-&-baby fitness centre, dd toddled into the studio from the little play area outside, all on her own volition. she was still a bit unsteady, and would fumble to her hands and knees after several steps but at least she was brave enough to venture on her own.

when my parents came up on the friday (30th), they were very pleased to see that she could toddle loads, and would even toddle to look for them wherever they were in the flat.

then the next 'breakthrough' came on tuesday (3 april), when dd seemed to ONLY walk the whole day. in fact, she did laps around the sofa until my parents wondered if she would get dizzy from walking so fast so much. it was as if she was practising! but that was the day i think she decided that she truly preferred to walk than crawl.

this is not to say that she doesn't ever crawl. she still does, but for a purpose, e.g. if it's a short distance to grab something and it's not worth the effort to stand up and toddle over. or if she thinks that it might be faster to crawl. nonetheless, these moments are becoming fewer.

and once again, it's a sweet-sour feeling, to see that my little baby is growing up.

i'm a-walking, i'm a-walking, i'm a-walking to the bathroom

after a day of not doing a lot of walking, dd decided that she would remedy that late this afternoon after her dinner.

she was a bit restless and i guess she wanted a break from looking at her books (she does go through them prodigiously, tossing one aside if she's bored with it), so i sat myself a few feet away from her and asked her to walk towards me. she beamed with glee and a look of determination and immediately steadied herself before taking those few steps to me. with that initial success i moved away from her again and asked her to walk towards me again.

we did this a few more times (sometimes dd would cheat a little and hold onto a nearby object or reach out and grab my hand when she got near) before her daddy came home, when she FINALLY had a proper audience to show off.

she managed to toddle between dh and i a few times before it was time for her bath. when dh went to get the bath ready i asked dd to walk to daddy, thinking that she just might do it since she's been doing lots of small steps building up her confidence.

to my delight, she looked at him and slowly got up. then off she went, making a trajectory to a fan near a bookcase before she steadied herself again and headed directly for the bathroom. wow - this is definitely progress - she did a distance of about 20 ft! and it was continuous walking, i.e. she didn't squat down / stumble / trip / stop!

eta: dd has regained her pre-UK visit weight, which was 11.5 kg. yippee! i suspect that one of the reasons she's a slower walker is that she is that much heavier for her little feet (and proportionately her feet are small) to bear. plus, she also seems to be naturally more cautious, being supremely sensitive to pain. e.g. she'd immediately hold her hand and mouth an "ow" while she looks at me whenever she so much as bangs her hand a little too hard against something.

justin the cat

i'd despaired of ever getting dd attached to a soft toy till recently. my big hope is that she will take to one particular toy and that will make it easier for her to transition to her own bed (instead of co-sleeping). 'justin' is an orange plush toy used by the bean's musikgarten teacher as a prop and helper who is highly sought after by most if not all the babies in class.
in the beginning, the bean would just sit with me or her daddy and watch the other kids try to grab justin from the teacher. then she would crawl over and as she s-l-o-w-l-y reached for justin, another kid would waddle up and grab it. finally, when she started walking, she became much bolder and would sometimes be able to grab justin first and thereby be able to hold onto her much longer.
i am now hunting for a justin clone in stores to see if she will be the bean's magic attachment object.

a giant step for leahkind

over the past week i could see that dd was progressing towards eventual independent walking.

it started with her crawling to the wagon-walker on her own, getting up and pushing it along. this was probably about 1.5 weeks ago. whenever she and the wagon became stuck (she doesn't know how to turn it around) she would squawk for me and i'd come along to face it another way, and then she'd be off again, on her little walk. during this period, i also saw that she was standing and squatting slowly without holding onto anything.

then about 6 days ago i noticed that dd was beginning to take a couple of tentative steps of her own, before she rushed to a nearby support (e.g. the couch or a chest of drawers). this didn't happen often - maybe once a day - but i guess she was slowly building up confidence and strength.

to help her along, whenever i led her on "finger" walks, i would only let her hold onto one hand instead of both hands. to my surprise i found her quite happy to do so. over a couple of days i began to see that she was a lot steadier on her feet and didn't falter as much, although there were times when she would stumble onto her knees. but she didn't seem to mind those 'falls' and always got up to continue her walks.

then a few days ago my parents came up. i think that the extra walking exercises she did with them and the fact that she now had a bigger audience to please, boosted her confidence a lot. in fact, she wasn't too pleased to be carried by them and insisted on walking (holding onto one of their hands).

it culminated yesterday in a real walk of 5-6 steps towards gonggong. unfortunately, i wasn't there to witness that momentous occasion, which was not repeated that day.

then today, after her dinner, i left her to her own devices while i chatted on the phone. suddenly i noticed that she was standing, one hand gripping a tv remote control, then she walked about 7 steps before she dropped the remote and stopped. she squatted, got up and took another 2 steps before squatting again to pick up the remote. then she walked another 8 steps to her step-n-play activity station!

her last 2 steps were a bit rushed and she grabbed the side of the toy for support, dropping the remote again. this time she didn't pick it up but she turned to me and did her funny face (at the moment she likes to 'twang' her lips and make a 'bunghbunghbunghbunghbungh' noise) before smiling cheekily. it was as if she was saying, see i did it!

she hasn't repeated this walking feat as it was bathtime immediately afterwards and bedtime followed.

i doubt that she would be walking on her own immediately tomorrow, as i am sure that she is still working on her balance (anyone who sees her stubby, chubby little legs will admit that her tiny feet have a lot of weight to bear and her baby fat must be a factor in why she's not walking early) and confidence. nonetheless, i am so very proud of her. (tears in eyes)

barney is a cult: tv "reviews"

i don't claim to know all the shows on our astro default channel (playhouse disney), but there are a couple that creep me out a little: barney & friends and out of the box.

the content of the barney show is actually not too bad and can be educational, however, the stepford children on the programme are just too artificial for my taste. barney, himself, also looks a bit creepy: helloooo, he's meant to be a t-rex; his arms are like rubber foetus arms and his plateau-ed head and high-set eyes could be those of a psychopath. well, ok, maybe that's a little exaggerated. but the moolah the show makes from parents when it goes on tour is just disgusting. a ticket to the barney show in kl costs more than a rock concert!

the other kids' show that has good intentions but stepford people is out of the box. every person has to end his/her line with a little giggle. all the forced jollity makes me grind my teeth, it's so painful.

needless to say the above are 2 shows on our "ban list".

fortunately, the playhouse disney (phdc) channel has other programmes, including updates on old faves, e.g. noddy, although this new version has been vulgarised! no longer is policeman plod called constable or pc plod, he's plain ole mister plod now. plus noddy has an american accent! is nothing sacred?!

but 2 other programmes on the phdc channel aren't so offensive (to me): little einsteins and pocoyo. the latter gets big bonus points for having stephen fry as the narrator. the clean crisp animation: the plain white background, having the characters take on one main hue, all help to minimise the kineticism of children's cartoons, and make it less disturbing on my aging retinas.

little einsteins is (unfortunately) a product of the baby einstein company, the latter of which i find a bit manipulative. but it gets high marks for incorporating classical music and good artworks into an interesting programme, for me anyways, since dd doesn't really follow the show. (in fact, she doesn't watch any of the programmes in full!)

an amusing part of each little einsteins episode is that as the four little einsteins prepare for take-off they need to help their rocket ship gain power by patting their laps/knees and then shout "blast off!" it's very music+movement for tots a la musikgarten/kindermusik/gymboree et al.

then yesterday, i found dd actually saying "pat, pat, pat" as the little einsteins run to their rocket ship...all in anticipation of what they have to do next! i find it amazing that she has picked this up. most of the time she looks at the tv and then ignores it, as if most of the animation bores her after a while. that is, unless she sees balloons on the screen! on the few occasions balloons show up in a programme dd would point to the telly and go, "buh?", look anxiously at me and repeat, "buh?" i had to tell her that mummy can't get her the balloons and show her that by tapping the screen.

she's not walking yet but she's fine, thanks very much!!!

...had to wait a day to cool down from an unpleasant experience yesterday.

it was dd's baby gym yesterday and it's usually a large mixed group of babies at different development stages (the group has a range of 11 to 16 months!). but that day it was mainly walkers who showed up and dd was the only one still crawling there.

both of us were sort of enjoying ourselves as we had missed quite a few classes. that was until one of the mothers, who had never said a word to me before, turned to me with a frown and asked, "how old is leah?" guilelessly i answered with a smile, "13 months." she didn't reply and in the awkward silence i thought i would be friendly and asked, "and how old is ___?" the woman retorted, "same!" with another frown and nod towards her daughter (as in, and look at her, she's walking and standing so well).

i was stung. instead of being just a friendly mom i then realised that she was criticising dd and i for dd not yet walking! what a bitch! i was seething and for the rest of the class i debated whether to confront her about her attitude and tone. in the end i decided to ignore her....and as one of my brother-in-laws would say, 'to rise above it.'

but boy, that really made my mood sour...coming on top of finding out that my parents think it was my cooking that had caused dd's gastroenteritis! they decided not to send us back to kl with some fresh fish fry as they thought i would make a mess of cooking it and poison their granddaughter.

anyway, needless to say, yesterday was a bad bad day with nasty vibes from people i had least expected.

waving bye bye

she's known how to wave bye bye for months now (since last oct) but only recently has she been using this rather...um...indiscriminately. she now waves bye bye almost as if to direct someone to get lost!

apart from doing "so big" (did i cover this pan-european grandparent trick in a previous post?), dd can now point to her belly-button when asked where hers is.

anyway, on "so big": this comes from leah's paternal grandparents (nai nai and ye ye). they'd ask dd, "leah, how big is leah?" and as she stares at them, they'd continue, "so big, so big." and hold their arms straight up. this is repeated until one day dd actually held both hands up to shoulder level with her palms facing upwards (as if in a plea of "who me?") in answer, acceptable enough a response to ye ye and nai nai.

the day i discovered that "so big" is not confined to the ameri-english world was when i went to visit a friend who had just given birth to her 3rd son in hospital. her mom-in-law, a german who only speaks german (aptly what), was at the ward visiting too. this sweet lady took a shine to dd and came over, squeezing her thigh or arm like a ripe melon, commenting on how chubby she was. (even though i don't know a word of das deutsch the universal language of grannies seem to cross cultural barriers.) later, when i had dd on my lap, she came to us and raising her arms up high, said, "so gros? so gros?" a lightbulb flashed in the dimness of my brain...ahhh something the brits can share with the continentals even as they disparage the euro.

besides cats, dd can identify flowers and butterflies too - in books, on her clothes.

her expanding vocabulary

at her paternal grandparents' in january, dd uttered her first real word: cat (it sounds weirdly like "kad" or "dat"). her maternal grandparents will argue that it's actually 'bird' - as my dad always brought her to look at birds.

new words are: dog. duck. round (from "round and round the garden, like a teddy bear", which dd renders as "wawwn wawn").

tonight, i am not sure but i think dd tried to say caterpillar. it came out as "wawawiwa" as she shook mr caterpillar (a lovely colourful toy).

2nd major illness: gastroenteritis (with rash)

this year, chinese new year celebrations threatened to be more stressful than the usual relatives' gossip merry-go-round when leah's bout of gastroenteritis recurred with a vengeance.

but let's go back to the beginning: she first started having bad tummy pains*, vomiting and diarrhoea on thurs 8 feb. after a couple of days on diarrhoea medication she appeared to be getting better so i took her to her hospital paediatrician for her mmr vaccination (for which she was actually way overdue).

*that morning she was shockingly subdued and only wanted to sit bent over double, hugging her toes, whimpering.

her dr advised us to postpone the mmr and to substitute that with the chicken pox jab instead. so dd had varilux, and we were told to watch out for mild fever. her appetite was good that day and also the next day. but on wed 14 feb she started rejecting food again although she was still quite active. unfortunately, she had a crappy night and couldn't sleep well for long periods, which meant the same for me...it was all getting a bit ominous for our trip to singapore the next night, and i hoped she would get better the next day.

...naturally, that hope was dashed. leah was again off her food and possetted/puked a little bit after each nursing. she wasn't in very poor spirits but she would sometimes come over to lay her head down on my lap and hug me, looking a bit sorry for herself. i told myself that we would bring her to the dr's in singapore if things didn't improve.

the car journey down to sg wasn't too bad but just as we got to the singapore immigration checkpoint dd promptly puked --- her father, the wag, said his daughter was merely expressing his own feelings towards the city-state (we have a long gripe about the LTA and their regulations on Malaysian cars). we settled in very late --- around 2am --- and dd had a restless couple hours' of sleep after we tried to force Calpol on her, culminating in a large vomit at 5am. that jolted us wide awake and dh was all for driving to the nearest hospital or clinic.

we ended up going to a baby and child clinic in bishan a few hours later. the dr prescribed some oral vomiting and diarrhoea medicine and said that her gastroenteritis was responsible for all the violent vomiting.

that day (friday) dd was still vomiting but not as much after nursing. she was still a bit off food but her spirits were better. she got even better the next day (chinese new year eve) and was almost her usual bubbly, nosy, happy self. her appetite was still off but she seemed to have stopped vomiting completely.

thus we were caught off guard on "chu yi" (chinese new year day) itself when i saw that dd seemed to have developed a semi-spotty rash. i noticed that it was all around her knees and shins and a little bit around her wrists and forearms. she was still a happy little girl though and the strange rash was brushed off as part-mozzie bite and part-heat rash.

however, the rash spread an hour later when i put her on the potty. and she had pooed into her nappy: diarrhoea poo. seeing the rash conquer vast parts of dd made me very nervous and i panicked. we decided to send dd to a paediatric hospital immediately.

this new dr told us that the rash was likely the result of the gastroenteritis. she recommended antibiotic treatment but wanted to see the results of a blood test first. so poor dd's little finger was pricked the blood test; she howled and raged and glowered and howled and whimpered throughout the procedure.

we had to wait for the dr to ring back with the test results (it took about 1.5 hrs later) at home, but meanwhile dd got spottier and spottier till she looked like a right specimen for chicken pox AND measles. although one of the tests came back negative (i can't remember the medical term for it) the dr couldn't rule out a bacterial cause for the gastroenteritis, and thus instructed us to start the antibiotics medication (3.2ml of Klacid twice a day) asap.

thus it was that dd was at her most repulsive looks-wise (with that scary rash) for ALL her relatives and friends on the 1st and 2nd days of cny. her po po lamented that no one will believe how gorgeous she actually is, and this is after she had been touting her granddaughter's beauty to all and sundry.

the turning point was the 3rd day of cny with the rash slowly receding, turning a faint latte hue. she was in good spirits, quite bubbly and her usual dictatorial self (she'd utter, "buh?!" and demand to be brought to wherever she was pointing at.) she had stopped vomiting completely by then too and her appetite came back. the relief i felt is indescribable.

we went back for a follow-up check on the 5th day (thurs 22). the dr said that the antibiotics obviously worked ruling out a viral cause. we were told to continue the antibiotics till sunday (a full week).

it is wonderful to have my lovely, fun and funny dd back to normal again!

a happy crawler...tunnel vision etc

12.5 months notes:

dd seems to really enjoy her gymboree classes now. at her level there is a lot of climbing up and down obstacle courses and crawling through tunnels (barrels of different sizes and lengths). in the beginning she would balk at crawling through the tightest tunnels, which were a bit darker and narrower. but no longer. she seems happy to crawl through anything so long as there is a prize (e.g. a ball) or sometimes just to get to the other side to me!

at gymboree there is one 'game' for the tots that involves all of them standing up and rolling a large, long 'log' from one side of the room to the other. i can see that dd is now much more stable on her feet and can keep pace with the rolling whereas before she would sometimes trip because she only took tentative steps.

at home she does lots of cruising along the furniture (our tv screen is coated with her little finger prints) and likes to pull herself up to one of our major electrical appliance to press buttons (e.g. the different ones on the desk fan, dvd and video player, etc.). all quite scary and i dread to think what she will get up to when she starts walking on her own and running everywhere. yikes. (thankfully we were given a child harness by dd's step-cousin, and i am sure it will be very handy when the time comes.)

much to my dismay, my once chubby little michelin baby is no more...she's lost quite a lot of weight since she insisted on self-feeding and crawling lots. one of the mothers at gymboree was surprised to hear how light dd is now, even though as she put it, "she looks so fleshy." i had to inform her that dd is small-boned hence even though she doesn't weigh a lot, there is still a lot of 'meat' on her bones.

leah's first birthday celebrations & other 1sts

technically, leah's 1st birthday should be when she was born, shouldn't it? anyhow, this post is about some of her 1sts...

dd's first...

major illness: contracting bronchiolitis while in the uk in oct 06. ok, so this happened BEFORE she turned 1, but it concurred with her first...

long distance travel: to the uk to see her great-grandfather, who has since passed on. we're so relieved we made the effort to go back to see him and it was such a wonderful, beautiful sight to see him so happy to meet leah. i will always treasure this memory.

hospital stay: for bronchiolitis (see above!).

birthday: we didn't make a big deal of this as these first b'days are usually for the benefit of the parents --- the kiddos don't appreciate all the fuss! we were in wales with the paternal grandparents and dd had a little cupcake with a single candle which we helped to blow out. she was blase about it all naturally.

during our welsh visit (about 10 days) dd decided that she wanted to feed herself and refused to be spoonfed, clamping and pursing her lips and turning her head away whenever we tried to get a spoon near her. this arrangement would be fine except that as a novice self-feeder she seldom got more than a spoonful of food into her mouth by herself. she was also really fussy about the food she was served and sometimes all she did was played with the meal with the spoon - pushing mush around the bowl. as she had always been a hearty eater, i was most upset to see her lose her interest in eating. in fact, she spent 3 weeks doing this and has only recently begun to eat a bit more.

stomach flu/bug: a couple of days ago dd suddenly contracted a nasty stomach bug. she vomitted a few times in the morning of thurs 8 feb, and was acting unusually quiet and forlorn. in fact, she sat doubled over in her cot making little whimpers, making me even more anxious. she was whisked off to the paediatrician immediately. dd is still suffering the effects with a loose tummy. other than the bad bottom, she is still her bubbly cute self though so fingers crossed that she will get over this very soon.

word: apart from dada and mama, we think that dd's first word is going to be (or IS already) "cat". she seems besotted by them, starting with nainai''s little black and white one. she loves looking at pictures of cats and can now point to cartoony representations as well.

champagne: her introduction to alcohol was courtesy of yeye at nainai's 60th birthday party. (we hope this doesn't mean she will cultivate expensive habits.) a champagne flute was proffered and at first she just dipped a finger into the liquid, followed by 3 fingers and then her entire fist was crammed into the glass. when even this didn't slake her thirst she tried to grab the glass with two hands to drink.

bite: one of dd's twin cousins bit her on her right index finger on her 1st birthday. the 2 of them were about to poke each other with their indexes and it was anyone's guess who would strike first. unfortunately, her cousin is a year older and quicker on the draw. the howl and look of disbelief and recrimination was tragi-comic and she was nearly inconsolable. i can't remember how we managed to calm her down, but her cousin didn't apologise for giving in to temptation, although a look of cheek and shock lit up his face when leah burst out.

we made it to 1 year!

i thought i would never be able to nurse dd to a year. when i started bf-ing, it was my aim to reach 12 months but now we are through the goalposts! it hasn't been extremely hard to do although i have to admit that i have yet to night wean dd.

the main reason for not night weaning is to keep up my supply, as i would now like to see if we can nurse till she turns 2; i read that early night weaning could sometimes lead to total weaning. also, i think that my experiments with night weaning in november resulted in my period returning after a few months' lapse.

backtracking a bit: to my chagrin, the first time AF (aunt flow) came was just when dd was introduced to solids and still sleeping through the night. she has since singularly failed to sleep through without wailing for a feed. in fact she stopped sleeping through the night when we undertook a car journey to singapore when she was 7 months old - that 1st night in singapore she kept crying every few hours and the only way to pacify her was to nurse. and this has continued ever since! we don't know if it is due to the travel upsetting her and us falling into a pattern of nursing at night, but we adopted co-sleeping because of the night nursings.