potty training started...

we started tentative potty training on wed 22 november. i'd ordered a transparent potty from mummysmilk.com, which came with a book by laurie boucke (infant potty training) and a pair of brightbots training pants.

we tried out the potty in the late afternoon. leah had only started crawling a few days ago and was a little constipated. but when we (my mum and i) noticed her distinct poo face, we quickly put her on the potty. to our amazement, she pooed immediately.

i decided that i'd try to get her into the habit of going to the potty twice a day at least - once when she wakes up in the morning and the other just before bathtime, after her tea. but i would be more casual about trying to catch her when she wants to wee or poo at other times - if i could get her to the potty in time then well and good, otherwise i wasn't going to try to kill myself (or dd) by rushing her or forcing her to go when she didn't want to.

anyway, it's now been 3.5 weeks since we began potty training, and save for one or two times near the start, she hasn't pooed into her nappy since.

there have also been days when she'd wake up in the mornings with a dry nappy. and she'd go only when i put her on the potty...makes me wonder if it's hurting her kidneys if she holds it in all night though. hmmm...

according to laurie boucke, most babies do communicate their potty needs from infancy, but it's just we have been conditioned to not listen to their signals, and in fact, we've been training them to use their nappies as a toilet instead*. and when i think about it, going into one's nappy is actually rather unhygienic and most uncomfortable.

ms boucke also says that there are a few windows of opportunity to start "elimination communication" - from infancy up to 5 months, then between 8-12 months, and then at 18-24 months.

i was a little worried that at 9-10 months dd might be too old for EC (i.e. too used to her nappies), but it seems dd has cottoned on very quickly.

it's certainly saving laundry, which helps the environment a bit more. we're using cloth nappies rather than disposables anyway, but this goes a bit further.

leah seems to be fine and happy about it too.

*this practice of using nappies till 2-3 years is actually newish for asia. many asian cultures don't or didn't use nappies - parents and caregivers would simply hold babies over the sink or toilet or ditch. that's why children's clothes sometimes have flaps on the bottoms so that they can just squat and go wherever, no different from longjohns!

my wrap stash

...as of dec 2006. i won't pretend that this is definitive. one of the makes i'm missing is a storchenwiege, which is supposedly a wrap workhorse and great for heavy toddlers. hmmm, we'll see.

top to bottom:
- barabarn druvor (rebozo length, 2.7m)
- didymos iris (3.2m)
- bebina rainbow (4m)
- ellaroo maia (4.2m) --- currently on loan to my sister, who had better not get any pulls on it OR coat it with cat hairs!
- bb-slen lychee (4.9m) --- but will be chopped to maybe 4.2m to replace maia

baby squats & pet sounds

baby squats
dd hasn't begun "cruising" with the furniture yet, but she loves to repeatedly pull herself up to standing and then slowly squat and sit. kinda weird baby exercise, but i guess that is her way of learning how to sit down by herself after standing.

she also likes walking if we hold her hands and makes large thumping strides.

pet sounds
dd's also been doing lots of odd noises lately. she likes to slide her tongue around and make strange "lalala" "luhluhluh" sounds at the same time.

she's also made clicking sounds with her tongue like clucks.

she crawls!

at long last! after most babies in her playgroup have been crawling and even standing unassisted or walking (albeit tentatively) , leah finally decides to crawl, starting yesterday (sunday).

i have to admit that it is NOT the most elegant of crawls; it's a kind of lurch really as her left foot trails a bit and is not tucked properly under her, i.e. ideally her toes should help push against the floor. however, it does get her from a to b and where she wants to go. that's the most important for her i guess.

today she crawled from the sitting room area (in front of the sofa) to the computer room and started messing about with my webcam cable...a sure signal that i cannot leave her unattended any longer!

anyhoo, i am a bit relieved that she is finally hitting one of her big developmental milestones. and in sequence too. i was a little anxious that she NOT walk before crawling. somehow, although many people think being able to walk first is a super achievement, i just prefer her to make that logical (if motor skills can be 'logical') leap from sitting up to crawling.

she IS able to pull herself up to standing though. and she has demonstrated it in her cot twice already. which also means we have to adjust the cot base to its lowest.

wow, my baby is growing up!

p/s. tonight, before she fell asleep, she flopped on top of me and gave me a beatific, satisfied smile and closed her eyes. it was a truly wonderful moment as i finally have evidence that she loves me...my little sweetheart...

new tricks

we've noticed that dd's been learning or achieving something new each week since she turned 9 months old.

first was waving bye-bye and actually trying to say it - this started when we were in the uk. then she was able to play peekaboo while in hospital.

the week after her hospitalisation, leah learnt to do "up" by raising mr caterpillar (one of her favourite toys) with both hands above her head. then last friday afternoon she started to clap - not loudly, just patting her palms together. (whereas before, she wouldn't uncurl her fingers.)

she's also making improvements in crawling...still going backwards most of the time, but since yesterday she's begun moving her hands forward and today, i saw her move her knees forward too. it's all still very tentative for her but i think it will be very soon before i won't be able to keep her on the floor by herself!

finally, for the record, her 2 front top teeth have pushed through too.

what a lot of developments for one who was so late rolling over!

1st major illness

dd was recently hospitalised with bronchiolitis, caught whilst in the uk on holiday last week.

it all started with an innocent enough little cough on thurs 25 oct, which became more frequent as the hours passed. then on friday night dd vomitted all her last milk feed, which entailed changing the bedsheet, pillowcases and her sleepsuit (and my t-shirt) since i had been nursing her in bed. as this was the night before we flew out of heathrow, i was concerned that her vomitting might continue on the plane...my fears were realised.

we got up really early on sat for the 3 hr drive to heathrow. dd slept in the car and was generally okay till we were checking in at the airline counter. she was fidgeting a bit in the wrap (yes, i had her in a short cross carry using my brand new-to-me iris didymos wrap) so i loosened it a little and nursed her a bit. this seemed to mollify her but seconds later she threw up. thank goodness she had not been drinking lots so it was just a little puke. still, i began to get very worried, wondering if she's got an upset tummy or stomach bug.

heathrow itself was a nightmare and i will elaborate on the diabolical regulations in place at the immigrations queue in a separate post.

an hour or so later when we were in the airline lounge i decided to nurse dd again. after that i gave her a little cough mixture that dh had bought from the pharmacy in the departure lounge. but this turned out to be a bad move: dd instantly threw up all the feed. perhaps the flavour of the cough mixture wasn't to her taste.

by this time both dh and i were nearly panicking, wondering how we would be able to cope with a sick child on an economy flight (we couldn't get our points upgrade for the return journey, so our cushy business flight to london was soon a receding memory).

suffice to say dd threw up yet a third time while in the lounge, so both dh and i reeked of eau de puke as we self-consciously boarded the plane.

we had to explain to our neighbours on the flight (those who made eye contact or who smiled at what they thought was a cute, harmless baby) that dd was ill, in the hope that they would be understanding later on if she cried and vomitted. all pretty necessary efforts at politeness as we found to our dismay.

it was one of the longest flights (emotionally, mentally) i had ever taken. dd was so discomfited by her coughing and in such obvious pain that she could not sleep at ease. it was highly unusual for her as we often expect a little grizzle before she settled down for a nap/sleep, but this time, she was just near inconsolable. it was excruciating as i was embarrassed and helpless. i tried to nurse her, but she sometimes puked and sometimes would continue to cry. also, during the flight, dh and i noticed that dd's breathing was sounding more wheezy, adding to our worry.

i have lost count the number of times she vomitted on the flight, and by the time we got home to kl, i was seriously worried that she might become dehydrated. i told dh about this and we both agreed that after dd had a nap/rest, we would see if we need to send her to the hospital, or wait till the morning before seeing our paediatrician.

when we finally got home sweet home, dd and i near collapsed onto the bed and i nursed her until she fell sound asleep. i too slept.

four hours later, dd woke up and seemed to be in a better mood. as she was hungry i fed her again, but then she threw up almost immediately. dh and i looked at each other and i saw a rare look of fear in dh's eyes as he said, "we need to go to the hospital."

we went to the hospital's a+e as the children's clinic was closed (that being a sunday). the dr who saw us said there was a possibility of pneumonia or bronchiolitis and sent dd for a chest x-ray and blood tests. The dr then said that the hospital could ring our paediatrician to come see dd, but that dd needed to be admitted into the hospital.

the x-ray was certainly not a favourite experience for dd, but taking blood samples was probably the worst thing to happen to her. the dr couldn't find a vein on dd's chubby wrists, and had to resort to one on top of her left foot.

it was probably incredibly painful. we (2 nurses and parents) had to pin her down (by restraining her arms, legs and torso) as she cried and wailed most pitifully. i was nearly in tears myself to see her in such pain, especially since she was calling out "mama" as well.

after the x-ray, the dr said it was unlikely to be pneumonia (thank heavens!) and she ordered a nebuliser for dd, who surprisingly took it very well. after that dd’s wheezing became less pronounced.

about an hour after we first stepped into a+e, we were in a single room acclimatising in the new environment and getting our heads round the idea that we would be spending 24 hours or more in that box. the paediatrician soon arrived and told us that he thought it was indeed bronchiolitis (which is caused by a respiratory virus) judging from the x-ray. he said that there might be a worry about secondary (bacterial) infection later, but for now, because the blood tests came out negative, we didn't need to use any antibiotics. regular nebuliser bursts were scheduled and the nurses would check dd's temperature to see if any medication for fever was required. (any spike in temperature may also indicate the presence of a secondary infection.)

dh had to leave the next morning on a business trip, which was not the most fortuitous of timings. but at least he had a restless night at home (evil grin from mommy) while i accompanied dd and nursed her at intervals all night.

that 1st night in hospital dd still managed to vomit a few times. her wheezing, which seemed to have abated after the 1st nebuliser, returned. however, she slept much better in the hospital than on the plane, and somehow, i slept better too, knowing that she was receiving the best care possible and that we did the right thing by bringing her to the hospital asap.

that night her temperature went up and down, which was the pattern for the following night too. when dd’s temperature rose the nurses would administer an orange-flavoured drug. it was fed to dd via a syringe and she didn’t like the taste of it one bit.

the next morning (mon) the dr said that it was unlikely that dd would be discharged the next day and that a third night in hospital would be necessary, mainly because of the low level fever she had been having on and off.

but after the 2nd night in hospital (i.e. on tues) dd seemed to be back to her old self again. she had quite a few admirers among the nurses and her physiotherapist. all who came by on their rounds always exclaimed "chomel" or "chubby".

on tues evening, the dr said that he would likely recommend we be discharged the next morning or afternoon.

later that evening, dd was still bright-eyed and alert. so i put her in the cotbed (there were 2 beds in the room - a regular hospital bed and a baby one) and dragged up her blanket to keep her warm.

instead of going to sleep, i saw her tug at the blanket with both hands. then i noticed that she was pulling it up and down over her face a few times. when she had pulled it down, she would turn to look at me. and it dawned on me that she was doing it deliberately: she was playing peekaboo, the game i had often played with her, except previously i was the one pulling the blanket to cover and uncover her face. i was delighted and encouraged her to continue the game, "where's leah? where's leah?", "peekaboo!" i took a short video on my handphone and zapped it to dh as well as my parents. dh texted back to tell me that he couldn't get any sound on it but was amazed she could initiate this game herself. i bet he was also relieved that she was obviously in better spirits and more her usual bubbly self since she was playing.

on wed am, the dr said we were free to go, but had to keep up the doses of ventolin (sp?) with an inhaler and also to take a daily dose of antibiotics (to stave off possible infections). i immediately texted my parents (who said they would drive up to see us at home that afternoon), dd's other set of grandparents and dh.

once home, we found that dd hates the inhaler (a large plastic tube with a slot for the ventolin metal inhaler at one end) and the taste of the antibiotics. it was a struggle to fit the clumsy inhaler over her nose and mouth, depress the ventolin, count to 10 and do another squeeze, before dd swipes the whole contraption away with her hands.

but we went for the follow-up check up today, and with much relief, we found that we can stop the inhaler exercises and antibiotics. the dr pronounced the wheezing over, although he cautioned that the chesty cough would continue and that we had to be careful about a recurrence of bronchiolitis, as that could lead to asthma.

it's been a long long week for all of us. during the ordeal i had discarded our normal routine, since i just wanted dd to get as much rest as she wanted/needed, and to nurse as often and as much as she wanted. so the last couple of nights at home has been exhausting catering to an alert dd wanting to play in the middle of the night (obviously suffering the effects of jetlag and the off-kilter routine).

that said, it does seem that since she's been on the mend, she has been slowly adjusting back to her normal routine. so we'll see if she gets back on track next week.

during the past week she had lost her appetite for solids and was only interested in milk. luckily i am still bf-ing. breastmilk is supposed to be the best for bronchiolitis (with the mother's antibodies hopefully passed on to baby). but today, we found that dd's appetite is returning. (her poos have also returned! she filled her nappy three times today.) this morning she would only have a few mouthfuls of baby cereal, then she had more of her lunch (a puree of multigrains with fish/tomatoes/carrots), but she ate up all her dinner (more of the same lunch)!

it will be so wonderful to have our bouncy baby girl back.

9 mths & 9 things i love

dd is now in existence as a separate entity for as long as i had carried her inside me. it's an interesting "milestone". she has definitely redefined my life (and dh's of course) and truly become the centre of our universe.

but before i go on, i'm going off-topic for just a short nip:
a friend had emailed this link with the subject header "only parents can understand" - http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,,1341866,00.html
it's a funny selection of quotes from parents offering "tips" and suggestions from their experience. i found myself turning red as i recalled how i was also guilty of eyeballing other parents' pram/stroller/pushchair (mentally and out loud - with dh - comparing makes, functions etc.). but these days i find myself looking out for babywearers and checking to see what they're using instead!

okay, now onto 9 things i love about dd: (to celebrate her 9 mth birthday, which was really on monday)

# 9 -- her look of determination when she spies a toy she wants and reaches for it.

# 8 -- the way her mouth continues to suck even when she's asleep, looking so angelic.

# 7 -- i get to be with her everyday of the week!

# 6 -- her big grins and smiles, with her eyes becoming dark laughing half moons.

# 5 -- at least once a day now she's been holding one of her hands to stare as she wiggles her fingers. it's a cross between a "royal wave a la the queen" and a finger exercise. it's as if she kinda gets surprised that she has these appendages at the end of her wrist.

# 4 -- sometimes she gets on all fours and then it's as if she's paralysed by the fear of removing a hand or foot to go forwards. so she sort of rocks on her hands and feet or does a quick yogic plank pose before she slumps onto her belly and whinges.

# 3 -- because she's nippy some nights and wants to nurse, we've wedged her between us in bed, making this cosy fam a cute trinity.

# 2 -- her two front bottom teeth! last week po po and i saw two little white buds on her gums but yesterday i definitely got a good view of the little white ridges that have now emerged.

#1 -- the way she bounces on her bottom when she's happy and nods her head as if in approval or to the rhythm of some headbanging rock band.

these are of course not the ONLY things i love...i love everything about her!

clucky baby?

this past week dd's discovered she can make clucky-clicky sounds. when my folks came up to see us they were pleasantly surprised at her new "vocabulary".

however, they weren't as sanguine about her slimming down. yep. my wonderfully chubby girl has started losing the donuts we used to call her thighs. me so sad......

i guess this is a result of her hyperactivity now. from being a happy-to-be-on-my-back-kicking kinda baby, dd now loves tummy-time and rolls over on her own accord. (as recorded in a previous post)

experiments

here's a green sarong (maybe 2m long at best?) with dd in a hip carry, rebozo tie. extremely tight and uncomfy. sarong was too stiff (new, not washed) and perhaps a tad short. the knot, which i had pushed behind, was enormous.








in thebabywearer.com forums, this short 2.7m wrap - barabarn (from sweden) - is pretty hot stuff. i'd put dd in a short cross carry, but it was again very tight (it was prewash), with the knot behind riding up to the middle of my shoulders. i guess i am just not as petite as i thought i was! :lol:
the colourway of this wrap is "druvor", aka "grape". quite rich and plummy. i didn't think i would like it as i am not generally a purple person, but it's a nice change for my wardrobe.
post-wash, the bb measured 2.65m. so there was some shrinkage in length. but it became much softer and smoother. i had washed in cold, with a non-brightening detergent (pureen h-a-d) with a vinegar rinse.

sachi pocket on dh

during a 45 minute walk dd finally fell asleep.
interestingly dh didn't comment on the pinkness of the fabric's print!

daddy in on the action

i couldn't resist...here's dh wearing dd in the nestling mt when on vac last week. i think she liked it, but dh said she still felt heavy and the mt in the humidity made him very sweaty.

rolling over...& over & over & over

after months of lagging behind ALL the babies in her 'gym' class, dd finally discovered the joys of turning over...and over...and over...

the 'ball' started rolling really when my parents came to stay 2 weeks ago. dd had already been able to roll over, but usually with a bribe, i.e. i had to tempt her with a toy. and then she would turn over, grab the toy, and roll onto her back again.

however, when my folks were here, dd seemed to revel in the attention. she also seemed to find more fun being on her tummy. besides rolling over, she 'pivots', as well as nudge backwards (i wouldn't say she's crawling backwards though).

anyhow, for the record again: dd weighed in at 9.7kg and measured 70cm on 26 september.

turning topsy turvy

as dd has gotten really heavy (weighing in at over 21lbs now, or 9.7kg to be exact) for arm-carrying, our ringsling and the too-stretchy babynest pouches, i decided to get another, sturdier 2-shouldered carrier, the mei tai.

so, without further ado, here's our beautiful Nestling mei tai in the gorgeous Topsy-turvy Covington fabric (it reverses to a nice plaid pattern), modelled by dd and grandma!

in a front carry with dd refusing to smile


a better view of the fabric print. i just love the whimsical carnival animals.

feeding time @ the zoo

first, the mess...
i'll admit it: i am hopeless at keeping dd neat as she eats her solids.
she would be wearing a bib and i would have a couple of cloth wipes handy but inevitably, bits of cereal would wound up in her hair; her sleeves and collars would be badly stained. and don't even talk about the floor!
i can now understand why plastic mats are sometimes placed under the high chair.

then, the fuss...
in the beginning, dd was superb in the high chair. but for the past month she's always clamoured to get out after a few spoonfuls. sometimes she could be persuaded to stay put if i sing a few nursery rhymes but usually she would just whine at an increasing pitch till i unscrew the tray and lift her out.
sometimes we can finish the meal with her on my lap. but the past coupla days i distracted her with the telly (i know, bad bad mommy) and shovelled it in as she gaped at the screen.

dinnus interruptus / the poo-break
there's been a few instances now when she's interrupted her meals by deciding it was time to evacuate her bowels. she'd first reject her spoon, then start compressing her lips into a taut line. a faraway (concentrated?) look would appear in her eyes, then the grunts would start. sometimes she would push till her face goes bright red, and her whole body would rock a little from the effort. funny bub.
i don't mind changing her and disposing of the biz, but she sometimes doesn't want to resume eating afterwards. that's what bugs me as i do hope she will have full meals.

splashy splashy

A couple of days ago, while dd was seated in the bathtub playing with her toys, she suddenly started splashing the water with both hands, making that mouth-open-i'm-excited face.
It is the first time she's done this after we moved her into a sitting position (with the seat) a few weeks ago. Prior to this she'd been bathing lying in the tub, when she'd kick both legs for loud sploshing sounds.
Watching her do the splashing hands biz is fun too though.

More poo news:
It seems that she may be becoming more regular. The lapse between poos appear to be shorter (although she didn't do her biz today). Yesterday she made one after going without for 2 days. But this last poo was incredibly pong-y. Must be the salmon I fed her for Saturday's lunch!
She does make the most incredible faces when trying to poo though. It's so funny (not for her of course, poor little mite) to see her go all red, with puffed cheeks and stretched-thin mouth.

the most beautiful syllables in the universe

for the record: week 33, 20.5 lbs, about 70cm long

this past week dd has been keeping to her routine - in the daytime anyways. but what's more significant than her night wakings (or rather night wailings), which have occurred ever since we went away on holiday 3 weeks ago, is that her vocalisations actually mean something these days.

for quite a while now dd has been babbling loads ("mama, dada, baba" seemingly indiscriminately), but this past week i have noticed that whenever she desperately wants something she would call out, "Ma ma!"

now, whether "mama" = help, get me outta here OR "mama"= mummy,
only time (or dd) will tell!

whatever, "ma" is definitely the most beautiful syllable in the universe, and the combo "mama" the sweetest.

food, poo, moo

31 weeks: 9.05 kg & about 68cm

(solid) food
to recap...we started leah on solids at 5.5 months, mainly because she seemed ready for the " leap": instead of sleeping through from 8pm to 7am she was waking up earlier and also getting to sleep later, requiring a longer night feed; she would observe us eating and drinking; and she was on the large side for size and weight.

initially i just expressed and mixed the milk with baby rice and gave her a feed at around 11am (1 feed/day only to start). this lasted till we did 2 feeds/day.

i quickly got bored with baby rice and bought a hand blender (one of those you use to make milkshakes) to puree cooked food. i then started cooking porridge (brown rice) and vegetables. with a hand blender it started becoming a bit more fun as i can experiment with a few different veggies, like carrot, potato, courgette, sweet potato, broccoli.

i am slowly introducing a few more flavours to her diet. but it does seem that she doesn't like the leafy greens as much as the tuber and root veggies.

the little madam offers her opinion quite decidedly: it's either a "blech" and the food gets spat out, or she just gulps down each mouthful (sometimes grabbing the spoon and/or bowl for more).

once i tried her on avocado, which she seemed to enjoy. however, she managed to vomit the lot out a few hours later. i wonder if it is too rich? anyway, i am avoiding reintroducing the fruit till she gets a bit older, till her tummy gets " mature" enough to take richer foods.

stuff she likes: sweet potato, potato, carrot, apple (with cinnamon), pear, papaya (pawpaw)

stuff she doesn't like (as much): broccoli, baby kailan, banana

currently, we are only doing 2 solid meals. i did escalate to 3 a few weeks ago, but dd then became uninterested in her evening meal and her last milk feed. i am waiting to see when she will be ready for 3 meals, but actually, i am kind of happy to stick to 2 for now. feeding dd solids does play havoc with my bf routine.

in fact, our routines are always changing as dd wakes anytime between 6-8.30am!

milk supply
around the time dd started solids my period came. that was a tad traumatic.

this was because during this time leah needed to feed more at night (i nurse her to sleep). i then became more anxious, wondering if i was producing enough milk. panic was setting in: i couldn't bear the thought that i might need to wean her early if supply dried up.

but after my period ended it seemed that the supply got back to normal and dd's nod-off time became more regular and she was waking at her usual time of 7am.

i found that drinking a brew of fennel seeds (and sometimes peppermint tea) seemed to help when supply was low.

at the moment supply seems to fluctuate. sometimes i wake up quite engorged, but other times it's okay. these days though i have the breastpump to hand in the mornings so that i can ease the engorgement before letting dd have her first a.m. feed.

poo
it is a bit sad but since becoming a parent, i seem to be scatologically fixated: constipation is now a regular occurrence for dd since starting solids.

nowadays, waiting for dd to poo is a bit like waiting for the monsoon to break. there is a palpable tide of relief when she manages to poo (btw, her facial expression as she poos is hilarious: she goes bright red and occasionally makes the "mmm" sound as she concentrates) --- on her side, her father and me! when her maternal grandfolks are around, the stress and relief are shared and we get the elders participating in trying to get her to poo successfully. makes for such warm family get-togethers, natch.

while bf poo was squishy, explosive (sometimes) and dribbly, solids' poo is more compacted, like adults'. it does make it easier to dispose: simply wrap around with bogroll paper, pick up, drop into toilet bowl and flush. however, as it is drier, the poor little mite does need a lot of energy and help to push the poo out!

moo
dd is still far from crawling. she has rolled over once or twice, but she doesn't seem to remember how to roll over (or maybe she doesn't want to?) and doesn't do it often unless i am around and " force" her to do so by enticing her with toys.

however, she is babbling lots, cooing and singing to herself. and she can sit up quite alright too. a midwife told me that babies that sit up well seem less inclined to crawl, as they can be happy/contented playing with the surrounding toys.

but leah is NOT completely happy just sitting there. these days she is quite demanding and needs me to be near her as she plays. and when she gets tired of the toys she wails too.

plus, i used to be able to amuse her with some simple things, like going through a book and making animal sounds ("look, a cow. cows go 'mooo-oooo'.") but she is not buying it now. i wonder if her attention span is shortening. yikes, scary thought.

it does mean accelerating what i need to get done around the house. or be content to do chores in parts. this is troublesome when i cook her meals though. sometimes i put her in a sling and bring her into the kitchen with me. but it can be dangerous now with her roving fingers, as i found out recently.

a couple of days ago my dad and i brought her to a department store, and we were happily browsing when a woman suddenly addressed me in mandarin: she's chewed it till it's mushy (rough translation). i had no idea what this woman was talking about till she pulled something from dd's hands and showed me --- a pair of baby shorts with a price tag dripping with saliva and with one edge all chewed up. the woman gave me a rather disbelieving (she probably wondered how i could let my child do this) and disapproving look before walking away with her toddler.
as my dad had been holding dd with her facing his back, she must've caught this pair of shorts when her cruising fingers brushed against the shelves of merchandise. no wonder she was all quiet and 'well behaved' as we shopped!
anyway, i had a quick surreptitious look around to check that no salesgirls were in sight before chucking the pair of shorts with the offending price tag onto a shelf.

*sigh*...oh to have a me clone...

fashion gallery 2

here are a few new(er) ones from dd's booty-licious collection. all made by wahm businesses.

these are from cutetooshies, an australian wahm, who has licensed the cuddlebuns design (nappy on the left). cuddlebuns require a separate wrap, which is a bit of a shame since they can be so pretty! the nappy on the right is a pocket nappy with a "giggle flap". the pocket opening is in front instead of at the back of the nappy, as is the usual case.



...another cutetooshies cuddlebuns







this is a wrap + soaker system from a usa wahm, little comet tails.






and another one from little comet tails. the wraps are very pretty but cut on the smaller end of the scale. since dd is rather chubby, i can't use too thick a soaker or else a "builder's bum" effect will result.



these are from american snap-ez. on the left is a flannel nappy which needs a wrap, and on the right, is a pocket nappy. these are chubby medium in size, which dd is now outgrowing, if not already outgrown.


for the record: dd at 27 weeks was 8.7 kg (over 19.18 lbs)

rants and raves

Rave
I found a great sling online, which I have used since Leah was 4 months old. This is a joined 2 pouch system that allows me to slot DD in without too much of a struggle from her. (DH thinks I look like that chap from Total Recall, the mutant with the extra person growing out of his chest.)

I was using a ringsling before, but then DD started to kick and scream when I tried to put her in it. At that stage she was still not able to hold her head well and I could only put her in either the cradle position or the breastfeeding hold. However, as mentioned, she didn't like the sling much for that. Hence the purchase of a MyBabyNest carrier. I didn't need to adjust the yards of cloth with a wriggly baby as well. A lifesaver. She does seem to like being in it. No complaints from her so far.

That said, now that Leah can hold her head properly, I have tried her in the ringsling again, this time in a modified snuggle hold (with her feet sticking out). And she's not objected. In fact, she managed to fall asleep once in it.

Rant
There's one thing that gets my goat in Malaysia and Singapore: seeing families out and about with the maid carrying the baby in a carrier. Anything wrong with this cosy fam scenario?

Hel-lo, baby carriers are meant to help parents with bonding!!! It's like these daddies and mommies think it's cool that it's the help who does the 'menial' task of carrying their children.

I have also been to one baby support group where one mommy brought along her maid. When it came time to do the nappy changing, her maid did it. The mom's main complaint --- and she wanted the rest of us to give our advice --- was how to cope with a baby that wants to feed incessantly and cries all the time, because "the maid has housework to do too." (I was agog, but didn't say what was on my mind: How about YOU take over and carry the baby when it cries then.) When they left, the maid put on a sarong sling and carried the baby.
I have no time for these part-time parents!

halftime report

Now that our favourite teams have been booted out of the World Cup (DH: England, moi: Brazil), I guess I have some time to update this blog.

On Sunday 2 July we started on solids! After much anxiety, nerves, general trepidation... Actually just baby rice mixed with lots of milk. We began with the 11am feed. I fed her a little from the breast first, then when she took a breather we transferred her to her high chair and fed her the baby rice-milk gruel.

As my mom predicted, Leah took to eating with a spoon like a natural ("She's not this size for nothing"). She was even grabbing the spoon and the bowl, wanting to get her little fingers on the meal.

But I am still kinda stressed over the whole idea of solids though, as I am not a cook and the thought of preparing her meals (when she progresses to other things besides baby rice, like sweet potatoes, carrots, pears etc) everyday is scary. I hope I don't overcook them!

The other confusing thing is what to do next. Some books suggest starting with the 11am feed and then switching to the 6pm feed (i.e. keeping it once a day for a few days more), before having 2 meals a day. But one of our paediatricians suggest that we progress to 2 meals a day (breakfast, then lunch), before we move to 3 a day.

Then there's when we should add more baby rice: at the end of the first week or after we have progressed to 3 meals a day?

Ooh, what to do...

As for development milestones: Leah is still not rolling over. This is her 24th week (although her 6th month birthday is still another week away). But she can raise herself up on her arms when I put her on her tummy, and she can put both feet in her mouth now (she explores everything by putting them in her gob).

One of my friends said not to worry about achieving these milestones as her DD only rolled over at 13 months (although she was crawling at 10). I am not really that fussed, honest. But it would be nice to have her more fit; she is tending on the Michelin man side.

At least her neck is much stronger now and when we pull her up from a prone position her head follows her arms.

She went through a babble stage: b's for a week ("bahbahbahbah") but that's over. She now does a semi-near-hysterical "hngh hngh hngh". These past 2 weeks, her voice also changed. It's a bit hoarser now. I wonder if it's anything to do with teething and the excess saliva?

We had a bout of nasty headcolds a month ago. I fell ill first. Took 2 weeks to get over it, then DD caught the bug. I think she quickly got over it though (no green candles issuing from her nose) and seemed none the worse for it too: she still slept okay and ate well. But after she got well I got the bug again. For another week, but in a milder form. This was the first time I was ill since I became pregnant. (I had a cold when I flew to the UK but nothing as bad as this latest round.)

I was a bit twitchy about Leah's cold though --- her first illness afterall. But we didn't need to bring out the Calpol or anything, thank goodness.

This half year has really flown by. We've been making very short videos (from my digital camera) and generally doing a weekly photo op, just to keep a record of her growth. With each new week I forget the previous one and what she was like then. I wonder if this is how mothers cope, reserving energy for the next day of mothering.

Last month, Leah's other set of grandparents (paternal) finally got to meet her. It was a monthlong get-to-know-you session. I don't know what impressions DD will get from this though. Someone joked that babies' memories are just slightly longer than goldfishes'.

Her paternal grandmother is the only person I know who can make Leah laugh just by speaking to her. Something in her tone of voice maybe.

I wonder what the next 6 months are going to bring...

vacationing with cloth

I thought I would have to resort to sposies for our long weekend vacation. But a little pre-trip phone call to the hotel to ask if they could let me use their laundry room to wash my cloth nappies meant that we could lug along an extra wheelie bag stuffed with dipes (mainly pockets) and doublers/inserts.

The hotel we stayed in was a friendly and quite casual place, so it wasn't a problem for the staff when I rocked up to the housekeeping department with my pail (supplied by the hotel) of dirty nappies asking if I could use their washing machine. The head housekeeper showed me how to operate the machine, and to ensure her continued goodwill I gave her DD to hold while I loaded up the washer. She promptly showed off Leah to her colleagues, exclaiming all the while (in her Chinese dialect), "Isn't she beautiful?"

Later, when I went back to the department to collect the nappies, the housekeeper told me to come by tomorrow if I wanted to wash the nappies again. I held her to that invitation. And as a further example of how nice the staff were, one of them (perhaps the head housekeeper herself) actually brought the washed nappies over to my room and hung them out on the airing rack that was in the porch outside. This was probably because I couldn't get to the laundry room in time as I was feeding Leah. When I was finally able to head out to my surprise I saw the nappies already drying outside.

It thus pays to make enquiries and then be really sweet to the hotel staff --- thankfully they were quite into babies, and DD behaved very well, performing to her admirers.

ditching disposables

It is confirmed: I hate disposable diapers.

For the past 2 weeks we have been completely on cloth nappies, even for nights, as I was tired of suffering blow-out leaks with disposables (aka "sposies") in the morning when I give Leah her wake-up feed. She only poos about 1-3 times a day now: once in the morning and another in the late afternoon, so all that stored poo is usually quite explosive!

I thought that the reason why sposies don't contain leaks well is because they are not tight-fitting enough at the back. So when I found a brand (naffly called Pet Pet) that seemed to have enough gathers I thought it might solve the blow-out problem. However, even these did not work and one afternoon I had the joy of trying to get a poo-caked onesie off Leah without staining her too much.

The other reason why I despise sposies is the smell they give off when full of wee. It is a nasty chemically stink that is much worse than just wee alone.

Anyway, at the moment I use PUL pocket nappies stuffed with a very absorbent hemp-fleece insert. This seems to do OK. I only change DD after she's had her first breakfast course --- waiting sometimes to see if she 'delivers' --- and then continue with the feed.

It is quite liberating to finally be able to stop worrying about blow-out leaks, but now I have to contend with what to do about washing my nappies when vacationing (in Asia there aren't a lot of self-service laundromats around)!

to sleep, perchance to dream...of sleep

DD turned 17 weeks this monday past. I think hitting the 4 month milestone has made a big difference in her demeanour and habits. E.g. she has started vocalising more...this week she found the "B" consonant and is doing lots of baby babbling (literally).

In terms of "sleeping through the night", I have always taken that phrase (the Holy Grail of new parents) with a big pinch of salt. For instance I still tried to make sure that Leah still had some middle of the night nourishment when she reached 3 months. At the time friends asked if she had started sleeping through the night (and what does the phrase mean anyway?) and were surprised when I said she hadn't yet.

I was (and am) on a 3-hour feeding schedule. When she turned 3 months I was still giving her a 1 or 4 am feed, after the "dream feed" at around 10-11pm. But she gradually dropped her middle of the night feeds, or at least, she was spacing apart her night feeds. So that in time she dropped the 1am feed and the 4am feed became 5-5.30, and then that was dropped too. I didn't deliberately not feed her; she just decided not to wake up for those feeds.

After she dropped her middle of the night feeds she began going to sleep at an earlier time. I usually "cluster feed" her after her bath from 7pm onwards. Yes, she gets nursed to sleep! I know she should fall asleep in her own cot (and sometimes we move her there when she's half asleep), but it is so much easier to just let her eat her fill and drift into dreamland. Her dream feed used to be the time when she really slept (waking at around 6-7am), but that time got earlier and earlier. And lately (the past 2 nights) she has been sleeping at around 8.30-9.15pm.

I have also started noticing a trend: the nights when she makes a change are often preceded by a night or two of "regression", when she acts shitty and won't be pacified or go to sleep at her normal time. Then the next night she would fall asleep earlier. Maybe it's her body clock making adjustments. Who knows?! When someone cracks this code, it will be a best-seller: all parents pray for a baby operating manual.

With longer night sleeps, her day naps are quite short now though. They are never more than 45 minutes long (if I am lucky) and are usually between 15-30 minutes. I suppose she makes up for the short day naps with a longer sleep at night, so I don't mind so much. Although it makes doing house chores frantic 'beat the clock' affairs.

While I rejoice at the chance of DH and I getting more sleep at night (or being able to do more in the evenings now, like watch a TV show), there is the side effect of engorgement! But that will be for another post, along with my obsession with DD's poo... :-D

Q1 battles

The subtitle for this post might as well be "How I Survived the Doubters and Self-doubt". As a first-time mom nursing, it's been a challenge fending off unwanted comments and advice. These are usually well-meaning and have the welfare of Leah and me at heart, but they haven't done a lot for my morale.

My aim, especially since I am a stay-at-home-mom, is to breastfeed Leah as long as possible, hopefully 2 years. I love holding her and feeling her warm and safe against me. It is also wonderful knowing that I am giving her something wholesome and good.

It would appear that we in modern Asian society have become estranged from what used to be a very automatic and natural part of Asian life. In the past 30 odd years, there has been a lack of information and understanding of what breastfeeding is all about and in modern Singapore and Malaysia, I have had to endure some strange ideas and comments, such as:

1. You're so thin (with the unspoken query of "Are you sure your milk supply will be enough?")
There is absolutely no need to put on weight in order to breastfeed successfully! As long as I am not on some crazy diet (and I was always on the skinny side), and I eat balanced meals and keep myself sufficiently hydrated everyday, then I should have adequate milk supply, thank you very much.

2. You should think of supplementing now that Leah is so big
While I may have enough milk to allow Leah to double her birth weight in 3 months, the doubters think that now this milk is not enough! But I have no intention of giving Leah any 'supplements' this early.
If I interpret what they mean correctly, supplements probably means "solid food". I think because traditionally Asians (from farmers to city slickers) have introduced solids to babies at a very early stage, with porridge to morsels of adult meals, there is still the notion that breast milk is not enough to meet babies' nutritional needs.
Today, however, paediatricians recommend to exclusively breastfeed up to 6 months, and to keep breastfeeding for as long as possible after that. In baby's first year, breast milk should make up 75% of baby's nutritive needs.
So again, if Leah is healthy and thriving, I don't see why I shouldn't start solids only at 6 months.

3. Only breastfeed up to 80% capacity; don't feed her till she is full or she will become too fat
This is probably the strangest advice I have heard so far. Chubby babies are what invented the term "baby fat"! Babies need the hind milk that long feeds provide to create fat reserves that they will eventually burn off when they start crawling and walking. Besides, not emptying the breast will hurt milk supply because the body will be conditioned to generate only the limited amount that is needed.

The above are just a sample of what external forces rage against the nursing mother. But on my own, I have had to battle my own doubts.

As every first-time nursing mother knows, it is difficult to assess whether one's milk supply is adequate: is baby getting enough is the question that assails. And the only tangible answers are baby's wees, poos and weight gain.

I have thus been a bit obsessed with Leah's poos, constantly wondering why this shade of green, why not pooing so often, why that etc. My consolation has been the weighing scale and each visit of the midwife's or to the paediatrician is always a bit stressful till I find out how heavy she has become and how long she's grown.

In Leah's first 8 weeks I engaged a midwife to make house visits. Her pronouncements have been most welcome in answering my critics and my own inner gremlin: on her last visit when I expressed my doubt about how well Leah was growing, the midwife turned to me surprised and asked rhetorically, "Look at that double chin. Does that tell you she is underweight?"

These days I am a bit more relaxed about my milk supply, seeing the rolls of fat on Leah's thighs and her barrel of a tummy, but I still have other issues to contend: forceful let-down being a prime one.

Because Leah has dropped her middle of the night feed, I have been experiencing terrible engorgement. Leah has consequently not been very happy to find milk spraying her when she breakfasts. Hopefully this will soon pass as my body adjusts to her new routine, but in the meantime I have been trying all the tricks the experts advise: from leaning back to allow gravity to stem the flow, to single side feed her within a 3-4 hour block. All with varying success.

To keep my morale up when things flag I always recall the time I met a Singaporean mother at a nursing station several weeks ago. I had complimented her on having such a bonny son, and she proudly said that he is 14 months and that it is all from breastfeeding. Curious, I asked her how she managed to keep at it for so long, and she said that she only expressed at 6 months, adding the milk to the cereal she gave him when she introduced solids. She then wished me well on my own nursing adventure.

I shall persevere...

*****

For other nursing newbies I have found these sites to be useful and reassuring with their information:
- Breastfeeding Q&A from iVillage
- kellymom: Breastfeeding and Parenting
- Breastfeeding myths

Q1 review?

It's one thing to read about stuff in books or hear about other mothers' experiences, and another to experience them for myself. So here are my Top 10 things I learned this past quarter. No apologies for sounding plagiaristic either as I'm sure millions of mommies out there would be familiar with these:

1. Babies are multitaskers
Leah has a never-fail-to-amaze-me ability to wee, poo and eat all at once...even in the same breath sometimes. There's an amusing take on an all too familiar sitch on the email circuit called Splish Splash but I can't upload the powerpoint presentation onto this blog.

2. I can survive on 2-3 hour blocks of sleep per day for months at a time!
There is no need for uppers or amphetamines when the reason for getting out of bed is wailing her head off in Defcon 3, and I'm worrying that she's not getting enough nutrition or that my breastmilk supply will taper off if I don't feed her regularly.

3. I can experience joy, fear, frustration and tiredness all at the same time too.
(See #2 as example situation)

4. Cloth diapers contain runny poo better than disposables
I think it is because most disposable diapers don't have enough gathers at the back which allows breastfed poo to trickle or ooze out. I have now learned not to put Leah in a horizontal position when she's wearing disposables and nursing (see #1 above): it's not pleasant to feel warm stickiness ooze onto my hands.

5. Baby girls can wee just like baby boys
Leah can pee with the best of the boys as we found out to the detriment of our parquet flooring and bookshelves. Maybe it is the pressure and angle, but she has described perfect parabolic arcs a few times. Once even hitting her mark: her daddy's right eye. This fountain of wee then usually splashes on the floor, the bed, and if a bookshelf is nearby, then sometimes our books.

6. To treasure every minute, every day
Leah is growing so fast that I sometimes catch myself wondering what's happened to the little premmie with the Elvis backcomb. Her face is changing, her vocal range expanding (now I know babies really do go "ga" and "goo") and her appetite is bigger too!
What is scary though is that I have no clear memories of nursing Leah in the first 2 months: none at all of what she looked like in my arms as I nursed her. Perhaps all the sleep deprivation has made huge gaps in my memory. Perhaps the business of coping day to day with regular feeds, nappy changing, laundry, my own mood swings et al, has left little room in the brain for storing those precious moments. But I feel so bereft!
Now I consciously try to remember her looks, her feel, her sounds when I nurse her...in order that I may remember what she was like in future. Plus I'm now taking pictures of her every week as a reference.

7. Breastfed poo smells
I have been misled by all the books and parenting websites! Contrary to what they say (that bf poo is not smelly; some even allege that it's sweet smelling!), Leah's poo smells. Okay, so it isn't as maladorous as adult poo but still, it ain't eau de Chanel.
And she farts: from silent lethal ones to loud poppers. Not very ladylike (takes after her mommy -- haha!).

8. Every child is different
It is often inescapable to start comparing babies, but I have tried to stay calm and not worry about whether Leah has begun grasping things or turned over etc yet. She seems to want to sleep more than some other babies and it can be a bit embarrassing and disheartening to have her fall asleep (and snore) during mommy & baby yoga classes (while the other bubs are happily cooing and responding to their mommies), but hey, I just have to accept it and maybe appreciate this now when she's placid as later it may be pretty hard trying to catch up with her while she toddles.

9. Leah sets her own routine
I don't know if she truly has reflux, but her 'colic' period has been extraordinarily long: from week 3 to now at 3.5 months! She's a perfect little angel during the day (although there are occasions when she does cry when I try to nurse her, but I think it is due to my fast milk let-down) but she turns into Ms Hyde in the evenings.
Thus, it has been near impossible implementing whatever Gina Ford or Baby Whisperer type routine for the evenings when she just won't nurse, arching her back to wail and wail. I don't nurse her by 'demand' but try to keep to regular intervals of 2.5-3 hours between feeds so that she has time to digest the milk, which I hoped would help with reflux: she seems to exhibit reflux signs such as excessive spit ups and drool and crying when nursing at night.
The trouble is convincing her doctor to do something about it!

10. Patience!
Alright, so I'm still not the most patient person in the world (by a looooong shot as my husband will testify) but when it comes to Leah, I think I have mellowed (if I say so myself!). There are the couple of occasions when I have screamed into pillows pleading with her to shut up (during particularly bad 'colicky' spells when I was dead tired in the late evenings) but generally, Leah has taught me to slow down and to go at her pace. And when she finally rewards me with a genuine gummy smile, it makes the weeks of grinning like a mad hyena to her all worth while.

It is actually difficult trying to think up 10 specific 'lessons' from these past months: I do suffer from brain damage and can't seem to think coherently these days. But the above list is not the end of it. Leah is still teaching hubby and me a lot of things. (We just can't articulate them?) But I guess the most important of all: it is possible to love somebody without expecting anything back.

confession of a nappy addict

First off I would like to confess that I am not 100% on cloth. I do use disposables for nights and sometimes when we go out. So this is not a full-on cloth advocacy site; when someone invents a cloth nappy that super-soaker Leah can be comfortable (read: sleep soundly) in overnight, then I will be the first to invest in that product!

So why have I chosen to dipe Leah in cloth?
I was inspired by my sister-in-law in the UK who diapered her twins this way. She introduced me to modern cloth nappying: shaped nappies that do not need to be folded. When I saw that her husband could change such nappies really easily with these new type of cloth nappies I was sold.

But after the inspiration came stubborness. Much later, when back in Malaysia I became pregnant, I went to pregnancy fitness classes and met other mums-to-be. After one of the classes I asked a few friends if they intended to cloth nappy. The looks of horror that greeted that innocent question amazed me. I could almost hear sharp intakes of breath, as the literary-minded are wont to say.

One woman huskily said, "There is no diaper service in Malaysia." She was referring to cloth nappy laundering and delivery services that are available in the UK and USA. Another lady said, "Oh disposable diapers are more convenient", nodding her head as if making a wise pronouncement. I then realised that their notion of cloth nappies was of traditional large muslin squares that need to be folded and pinned and are not very absorbent. But to keep our conversation on an even keel I kept my mouth shut and we moved to less contentious matters.

I was quietly adamant, however, to try cloth nappies as I find disposable nappies a bit repulsive. Maybe because they are manufactured by large companies. Maybe because I find them aesthetically unappealing.

Start of the addiction
Alone, so I thought, in Malaysia in my cloth nappy quest, I did my own research (the miracle of the Internet) on cloth nappies and finally sought the advice of one of the consultants from The Nappy Lady (a UK cloth nappy retailer). From that advice and judging from most of the posters on cloth nappy fora I decided to plump for Bumbles and Mother-ease One Size nappies.

These arrived in time for my premature delivery of Leah (see previous post) but I found them enormous on my little baby, who although had chipmunk cheeks, was slight everywhere else. So while I stuck to despisable disposable diapers for several weeks I did more research on cloth nappies.

It was like moving from a world of black and white television to colour; from snail mail to e-mail. I had been living a bland cloth nappy existence in comparison when I saw the colourful and pretty options out in the world wide web.

To the exasperation of hub-unit, who thinks I have enough cloth nappies now, I am still trawling different WAHM cloth nappy sites for interesting nappies. To me, besides whatever marginal or real environmental reasons for using cloth, it is also a matter of aesthetics. Cloth nappies are like any other fashion item in Leah's wardrobe, if not the most important!

Now, the results of my nappy addiction can be viewed on this blog.

A minor peeve: I am still searching for the perfect nighttime cloth nappy, one that is super-absorbent yet keeps Leah dry, and thus undisturbed from her beauty sleep. Because of this I still have Leah in disposables at night. I know, boo hiss. (When hubby is away on business I am 100% cloth though, as he is the one who insists on disposables for nights.)

For independent opinions, or user comments on cloth nappies (aka real nappies) I recommend these sites:

• Diaper Pin
• The Cloth Resource

These are the sites from which I have ordered real nappies:

• Kittykins (UK): Quite prompt with email queries and delivery
• The Nappy Lady (UK): Limited selection but with personal consultation service via email
• Twinkle on the Web (UK): Very large inventory and range, but slow with email queries (in fact she didn't answer one of my emails at all)
• Whoopeekiddies (SG): Small brand range but cheaper to ship from Singapore to Malaysia

quote of the day: 25 April 2006

After I came out from the shower hubby said: "Wow, that's a HUGE scar. Will it ever heal?"

This is 3.5 months after my c-section. Nice one, darling.

picture gallery 1

Here are the various types and brands of nappies from my stash (as of 19 April; I'm itching to get more).
Leah @ 3 months, weighing over 6kg

Nappy: Bumble
Manufacturer: Easy Peasy
Comments: The Bumble has a white terry cloth outer with white fleece inner that is fastened with either pins or a Nappi-nippa (aka Snappi). It has an optional insert - a rectangular length of a few terry layers - that can be snapped in one end inside. But Leah isn't wearing it in this picture. I find that with the insert the nappy becomes very bulky, although with the insert it can be used as a night-time nappy.
Leah used to be quite happy for a few hours in a Bumble as the fleece interior covers the inside of the nappy and kept her dry-ish. But she is a super soaker and now I think I need to boost this nappy with the insert. Or change her more frequently.
Also, the terry has gotten very stiff and hard washing in the &%#!@ hard water here. Even flapping them vigorously to try to fluff up the fibres doesn't work. *sigh*

Wrap/ Cover: Bummis Whisper Super Snap
Manufacturer: Bummis
Comments: I find Bummis wraps are pretty low rise and if you have a bulky nappy the fit isn't so good. They are however pretty trim over boosters and trim nappies (like the Diddy and Rainbow Tots). There are no leg gussets but I like the elastic gathers at the back and the leg openings - they are encased in lycra, so not as 'sharp' to the skin as the Mother-ease wraps' bindings.
For now there is still room for 'horizontal' growth in this wrap, but when Leah gets longer this wrap may reveal a 'builder's bum'!
I also bought the Bummis Whisper Super Wrap, which closes with Aplix, in Small. It is still OK (by a stretch) if I use a booster lined with fleece just for brief periods, but at the rate Leah's waist is expanding I shall need to put it away very very very soon.

Nappy: Diddy Diaper
Manufacturer: Nature Babies
Comments: This diaper would be great for newborns. Too bad I didn't have it in Leah's first 2 months though. It is made of unbleached terry cloth (outer) with an unbleached cotton jersey (like t-shirt material) inner. It can be fastened with either pins or a Nappi-nippa (aka Snappi).
I like it as it is a very very trim nappy (Leah wears the Newborn size which allegedly fits up to 18 lbs depending on build) but it needs to be boosted: I can add a booster/insert outside the nappy (in between the nappy and wrap) for added absorbency to prevent the nappy from becoming too bulky.
I have also used this as an insert for a Small FuzziBunz and it seemed to work. Lasted Leah more than 2 hours in that combination.
There is no hidden waterproof layer so a cover is needed for this nappy.

Nappy: Fuzzi Bunz
Manufacturer: Fuzzi Bunz
Comments: This is a pocket nappy, meaning there is no sewn in soaker layer to the nappy, just a pocket for laying in one's own absorbent material.
I find the rise of the FBs a bit low, truth be told, but they are great out-and-about nappies as they are trimmer than the 2-part system and I don't have to fiddle with a separate wrap if I need to change her while out.
As previously noted, I have used a Small FB stuffed to the brim with a Diddy Diaper and it didn't leak at all when used for a couple of hours. Previously though I had stuffed the Small with a Bumble insert along with a Mother-ease booster and the bulkiness made the pocket opening gape. There was too much nappy between the legs and there was some leakage of bf poo: never again will I overstuff FBs!

Nappy: Kissaluvs Colours
Manufacturer: Kissaluvs
Comments: Such a beautiful nappy! Wonderfully soft, although it is stiffening with the hard water in my area. Made of cotton fleece (not to be confused with poly fleece used as nappy liners) like the insides of deluxe sweatshirts.
Leah is wearing a Size 1 and it should fit her for a while. I just wish I had bought fewer Mother-ease One Size nappies and got these instead.
A cover is needed for this nappy. For this I normally use a Mother-ease Airflow.

Wrap/ Cover: Modern Baby cotton wrap
Manufacturer: Modern Baby
Comments: The Modern Baby cotton/PUL wraps come in great colours and the cotton exterior is nice and soft. The inside PUL layer seems to be quite thick -- thicker than the Mother-ease wraps anyway -- but because the exterior is cotton, when Leah wears this for long periods (e.g. in a car seat or pram), the wrap wicks.
Because this wrap closes with Aplix there is some flexibility in getting the waist to fit well. There are also leg gussets in this wrap so there is better leg containment. That said, with bulky nappies on a growing Leah, this wrap may not last long...sigh.

Nappy: Mother-ease One Size
Manufacturer: Mother-ease
Comments: The One Size is as can be inferred from its name, meant to be used from birth to potty training. But I have found it incredibly bulky for a newborn. Leah is just beginning to look alright wearing it, and the nappy still needs to be folded for a shorter rise on her.
The terry material of the nappy is actually very nice and feels like a plush short pile carpet. It dries well and doesn't go as stiff as the Bumble. However, it does not seem to be as absorbent as I would have liked, which is a pity because it is well made.

Wrap/Cover: Nature Babies
Manufacturer: Nature Babies
Comments: This wrap has an amazing number of poppers, which can be finicky to use especially since the wrap material is soft and elastic. There are 3 sets of poppers --- for the waist, legs and to shorten the rise of the front of the nappy. A great idea in theory, but quite difficult to master when trying to get everything on a wriggly baby.
Initially I was attracted to this wrap's many different colours and prints but it feels a bit rubbery and is not my favourite.

Nappy: Rainbow Tots
Manufacturer: Tots Bots
Comments: This is a terry nappy that is longer looped (is there such a phrase?) than the Bumble and consequently much softer. It comes with sewn-in booster and microfleece liner which can be a pain when I want to boost it differently.
However, it is a trim nappy and cute looking, even if it is not as absorbent as the Bumble. If I had known how soft and cute they are I think I would've bought more.

Nappy: Wee Wonder (Original)
Manufacturer: Wee Notions UK
Comments: I ordered bespoke nappies from this WAHM, choosing the colours and patterns for the microfibre exterior and inner fleece layers as well as the lycra binding. It came with a built-in insert that I can pull out to dry after the nappy has been washed.
It is a very well constructed nappy (there are colour coordinated buttons to keep the 'wings' of the nappy flushed to the sides and there is hidden elastic used to adjust the leg openings) and it looks fab, but I am ambivalent about microfibre. As it traps moisture between its fibres instead of within them like cotton, the slightest pressure on the nappy makes wee drip out. And with a super soaker like Leah there was a lot of wee to drip (on the floor, the bed...you get the picture) when I took the nappy out of the wrap to put into the nappy bin! It is also quite an expensive nappy.
With the original Wee Wonder there is no hidden PUL layer so I need to use a wrap over this nappy. If I had to do my ordering again I would've gotten Wee Wonder Pockets instead --- better for showing off too as then the nappy can be seen and not be covered by a wrap.

shopping list

In the Nursery
1. Cot – Best to get one that has one or both sides that can be pulled up and down, with different heights for the mattress base (3 is good). This way your back and belly won’t hurt so much when you bend to put baby down or carry him up.
a. Mobile
b. Mattress – a firm one that won’t sink so that baby won’t suffocate when he rolls over
c. Blanket - for swaddling
d. Bumper – unnecessary until baby is perhaps 10 months
e. Cot sheets
f. Mattress protector

2. Changing unit/ mat – A mat is portable, but a changing unit could double as drawers for storing all the nappies and bb clothes. See #3.
3. Cupboard/ chest of drawers for storing clothes etc. – Or clear space in your built-in cupboards
4. Clothes
a. Body suits/babygros/onesies
b. Mittens – don’t need many, one pair will do actually
c. Bootees – a pair will do
d. Tops - long and short sleeves
e. Bottoms – shorts and trousers

5. Sleeping sack
6. Cotton balls/ baby wipes
7. Cotton buds – for cord care, NOT for ears!
8. Room thermometer
9. Baby thermometer (for underarm temperature readings)
10. Nail clippers (or you could use scissors specially designed for cutting bb fingernails)
11. Nappy rash prevention cream (e.g. Bepanthen)
12. Oil for wind (Yew Yee oil)
13. Baby belly belt - to wrap round the waist after putting on Yew Yee oil
14. Woodward’s Gripe Water
15. Nappies - newborn babies need to be changed 10-12 times a day. Buy enough nappies to keep you going for at least the first few days or so.
16. Baby Monitor
17. Burp cloths – something to keep your clothes from getting spit-ups and vomit. These can be traditional muslins which can be used as general covers for furniture, bb changing etc.
18. Playpen (later purchase)
19. Bouncer/ Walker (later purchase) – there are some who argue that bouncers and walkers actually impair babies’ ability to walk properly
20. Stairgates (later purchase)
21. Rubber protectors (later purchase)

First-aid Kit
1. Paracetamol for babies – also called infant suspension
2. Antihistamine for babies
3. Tea tree oil
4. Cold/chest rubs for babies
5. Fever plasters (e.g. Kodomo cooling adhesive)
6. Teething gel (for when bb's older)
7. Sunscreen
8. Mosquito repellent
9. Ointment for cuts, scratches and bites (e.g. Lucas’s Papaw Ointment)

Bathroom
1. Wipes/ Sponge/ Bath mitten
2. Baby bath tub/ newborn bath support
3. Hooded towels
4. Mild baby bath/ shampoo (use very little) - e.g. Eubos or iGreen Buds
5. Baby oil – for occasional use or massages
6. Dish/ container (to put water for washing baby’s face)
7. Baby powder (make sure it doesn’t contain talc)
8. Cord spirit or alcohol swabs – for care of the umbilical cord stump

Laundry for Baby Clothes & Nappies
1. Buckets with lids - separate ones for clothes and cloth nappies
2. Baby friendly detergent - e.g. Pureen (no enzymes, whiteners or softeners)
3. Tea tree oil or lavender oil solution - add in final rinse to take away the smell of wee and poo

Feeding Time
1. Milk bottles & small sized teats - if breastfeeding there is really no need to get newborn teats (Avent size 1), unless planning on letting someone else bottle-feed bb once in a while

2. Bottle scrub brush with nipple brush attached
3. Bottle warmer – optional, as can use bowl with warm water
4. Sterilising equipment – e.g. large pot or electric steam steriliser
5. Tongs (to handle hot bottles)
6. Breast pump
7. Expressed milk containers/bottles
8. Nursing pillow (optional)
9. Highchair - for when bb is older. Don’t need to buy straightaway

Going Out
1. Car seat – rear-facing for newborn
2. Baby sling/ wrap/ pouch (optional)
3. Pram/ stroller - get one that is suitable for newborn babies (with lie-flat position)
4. Diaper bag, containing:
a. Day's supply of diapers
b. Wet wipes
c. Plastic bags for disposing soiled diapers/ ziplock bags for cloth nappies
d. Diaper rash ointment/ baby powder
e. Small toys and/or books
f. Ice packs to keep liquids cool, e.g. expressed breast milk
g. Baby formula (if not breastfeeding)
h. Bottle or a spill-proof cup (if needed)
i. Spoon and fork (if needed)
j. Change of clothing for both baby and mommy (in case of boo-boo accidents)
k. Lightweight receiving blanket or muslin (could be used as burp cloth or cover for bb)
l. Water bottle for mommy
m. Snack for mommy
n. Antibacterial spray/ no-rinse handwash

Mummy Stuff
1. Breastfeeding clothes
2. Nipple cream (e.g. Bepanthen) - actually, you might not need to resort to creams: express some breastmilk to moisten the sore area and then leave it to air has helped me
3. Nursing bras – I find these the most comfy and easiest to breastfeed*
4. Nursing pads
5. Sanitary pads - for the first few postpartum weeks. Periods tend to be delayed when one breastfeeds
6. Disposable panties (Optional)

Notes:
CHOOSING A PRAM/ STROLLER/ TRAVEL SYSTEM
There are several types, which can be confusing to choose. It certainly was for us. Given the knowledge I have now, I would have made a different purchase.

Main considerations when buying one:
1. Seat must be able to allow newborn to lie flat
2. Portability – will it fit into your car boot? Will you be using it to catch taxis, MRT?
3. User-friendliness – how easy is it to fold up and open
4. Stability - choose a stroller or pram with a wide base. You want to be sure that the carrier cannot tip over.
5. Only use a stroller with proper restraints. Good restraints should secure your baby at the waist with a guard between the legs so he can't slide out.
6. Check the brakes. They should be secure and easy to operate.
7. Be sure it has the storage capacity you need. A basket under the seat may offer more stability than a basket at the rear.
8. Stroller's fabric - is it washable? is it the right type for your climate?
9. How long do you want to use the stroller? Do you wish to keep it for your second/third child?
10. Your budget!

Different types:
1. Prams – can be rear-facing (i.e. baby lies facing the pusher of the pram) or front-facing, or adjustable for both ways.
2. Travel systems – all-in-ones that include a car seat
3. Strollers – these are very lightweight and can be folded up easily. To be used only for toddlers.

Useful websites:
www.strollers.com/choose-stroller.php www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/feature/-/146824/002-2113728-3682418

Given what we know now, hub unit said he would probably have chosen a McLaren as they are lightweight and very portable. Ours is a Peg Perego A3 (sounds like cars don’t they?!) that only folds in half so it takes up a lot of space in the boot.
However, I would probably have opted for a pram that can be adjusted to face the pusher as well as face forwards. This way, when the baby is still very small, I can look at and talk to her while pushing the pram – important for baby’s development.

CHOOSING AN INFANT CAR SEAT
The main points to note:
1. The car seat has to fit the car! We had a hand-me-down – a MaxiCosi Priori – and when we fitted it into our car, we found that the seatbelt isn’t long enough for the recommended method of securing the seat. We have to use a different method of securing the car seat with the short seat belt…one that isn’t as secure as I would like.
2. Infant harness – is it a 5-point belt up harness? Ours is only a 3-point (as the car seat is an older model.
3. Do you want a base for the car seat? This base will be permanently installed in the car, while you can take out car seat more easily.
4. Avoid secondhand car seats unless you are very sure of the family that used it and are certain they had no car accidents and had taken care of the seat properly. It is like buying a car really!

Car seats can sometimes double up as a carry seat, i.e. when the baby is very tiny, you can bring him around by carrying him in the seat with the handle. However, the car seat is VERY heavy and post-partum you should NOT carry the baby in the car seat. You might injure yourself and will take a much longer time to recover from the delivery. I know, because I did it!

Web resources:
www.strollers.com/car-seat-buying-guide.php http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/feature/-/153290/002-2113728-3682418

WHERE TO SHOP FOR BABY STUFF
Shops - Singapore
The first two are next to each other at 83 Kaki Bukit Ave 1, Shun Li Industrial Park
- Baby Kingdom (allegedly the better of the 2 here)
- Baby Hyperstore
- Mothercare outlets – expensive stuff but knowledgeable (some) staff

Shops - Malaysia
- Planete Enfant
- Mothercare

Online - Singapore
www.babytown.com.sg - you may find great bargains here
www.kidsmall.com.sg
Whoopeekiddies

Online - Malaysia
The Babyloft
Jonas Jodie

* The Moms in Mind Basic Cami Bra and Seamless Spaghetti Cami Bra - Moms in Mind

what to expect (delivery and post-)

this is a list i wrote for my sister, based on my experience at the hospital and what i did to prepare myself for d-day and what i did after that.

maybe someone out there will find this useful. but caveat: the context is malaysia/ singapore so the information mightn't be 100% pertinent to someone who lives elsewhere.

what to expect and how to prepare

Pre-delivery
1. Start packing your ‘hospital bag’ and have it on standby. It should contain:
1) Nightgowns or big t-shirts that will allow you to nurse (i.e. breastfeed) comfortably
2) Disposable panties
3) A pair of slippers (for shuffling to and from the toilet)
4) Nursing bras
5) Going home clothes – this can simply be the maternity outfit you wore when you were admitted, as you will definitely still be big post-delivery
6) Toiletries: toothbrush, hairbrush, cleansers, etc. (The hospital’s stuff is basic.)
7) Face towel and bath towel
8) Hospital appointment card, your I/C, etc.
9) Birth plan (signed/acknowledged by your own doctor) – you can remind the nurses and doctors of what you want and not want for the labour.
10) Books, magazines or CD player – to provide distraction as you can get bored, especially post-partum
11) Camera - to capture the special moments!
12) A set of baby clothes: 1 babygro, mittens, socks/booties/, hat
13) Receiving blanket
14) Snacks e.g. muesli bars, chocolate
Optional:
1) Maternity pads – the hospital will provide them. You may wish to have a few of your own disposables as extras.
2) Bathrobe
3) Aromatherapy stuff
4) Breast pads – you may not need this unless your milk “comes in” while you’re still in hospital and you’re leaking badly.

Note: No need to bring wallet or wear a watch. Hub-unit can be in charge and can buy you stuff from the hospital’s sundry shop or outside supermarket if you really need it. Keep all jewellery at home.

2. Make sure hubby (and whoever is accompanying you to the hospital) knows where the hospital bag is, as he will need to get it if in a rush.

3. Make sure that the infant car seat is installed in the car. You and hubby should definitely practise installing it a couple of times beforehand. Then leave it installed in the car before your EDD. When you bring baby home you must install him in the car seat for his safety.

4. Have everything bought, unwrapped, washed, assembled and in its place at home, before your EDD. For instance, that the changing mat, wipes and rubbish bin etc are where they should be for your convenience. The cot should be assembled and the bedding in place.

5. At the hospital, speak to the maternity ward reception desk. The nurses will bring you to the room you request for (specify what type you want: suite, single, etc.).
Then, the admissions process: your IC will be required here, as well as the doctor and hospital appointment card(s). Hubby's or your credit card may be asked for. You will need to sign some forms.
Ask about sleepover arrangements (if you wish it) for hubby, and the sort of bedding available in the room for him. (My hub-unit stayed over when Leah was born, bringing our yoga mats to lay on the floor, with my hospital bed’s duvet --- i didn't need it --- and extra pillow as bedding!)

6. You will be given a wrist tag that you leave on till you get discharged. Your baby will also get a tag – this will be in your name.

7. Every now and then you will be hooked to a CTG machine that monitors your contractions and you will be able to hear baby’s heart beat. The nurses will periodically come to monitor baby’s heart rate with a handheld device, squirting gel on your belly before doing so.

8. Your doctor will pay you a visit once or twice a day to check on you, if things are still slow. If not, he will advise on the next steps.

9. The hospital should provide free meals. You can order via the menu daily. But once you are prepped for delivery, they may tell you to stop eating. Speak to your doc about whether you can have a light snack (e.g. a muesli bar) and liquids.
If you ask for an epidural, they will wheel you (transfer you to another portable bed) to the anaesthetist’s. There, you get transferred again to another bed. The doctor will come in and do the epidural. A pillow or other support will be provided if you do the procedure sitting up instead of lying on one side. The doc will give you a local anaesthetic first and you won’t feel the needle at all.
I am not sure about the other pain relief procedures, but there will definitely be a gas machine connected to the bed that could be used.
You may be put on the drip. This is the thing I absolutely abhor the most. They will poke a needle into your wrist and leave a plastic thing that joins up to a drip bag that hangs from a stand. This stand has castor wheels so you take the drip with you everywhere, even going to the toilet. It makes sleeping sometimes difficult. I kept thinking of how irritating the plastic thing in my wrist was (the pain is like ant bites).
As for the C-section delivery process, see leah's birth story. You should already know what to expect for natural birth from your pre-natal classes.

Post-delivery (in hospital)
1. Baby will be taken away for measuring and a check by the hospital paediatrician. (If you have not appointed a paediatrician, ask your doc to recommend one.)

2. Expect a lot of gunk to keep coming out from the nether region. This is a good thing so long as it is not excessive, but your doc and nurses will monitor. The hospital will provide pads to soak the gunk up. I can’t remember what this gunk is called; there is a medical term. You will be sleeping on top of waterproof soaker pads provided by the hospital so don’t worry about stains. (The gunk should continue for maybe 1-3 weeks, depending on how fast your uterus contracts and drops back into its pre-pregnancy position.)

3. Baby will be wheeled back into your room lying in a baby trolley-bed. He will have been washed and cleaned, wearing a teeny hospital gown and may be swaddled in the hospital’s receiving blanket.

4. Ask the nurses to show you how to swaddle baby. It’s important to swaddle baby unless cleaning or feeding him.

5. Ask the nurses to demonstrate nappy wearing, and where they have kept the diapers and umbilical cord care stuff. (Ours were kept in a compartment below the baby trolley bed.) When you run out of diapers and other stuff, ask the nurses to bring more. While in hospital, all these would be provided FOC (or as part of their service).

6. A lactation nurse should visit you shortly, to teach you how to get baby to latch on and make sure you are breastfeeding correctly.
Make sure this is done soonest possible. If someone doesn’t come within the first 2 hours when baby is already rooming with you, press the buzzer and ask nurses.
Feeding at first may hurt a little bit, and don’t expect milk-coloured substances to come out for maybe one or two days. But it’s important that baby is nursing from the beginning because whatever you can’t see, or if you do see the translucent stuff oozing out, is vital for baby’s nutrition.

7. The nurses should bring baby away to be cleaned up each day. At the end of your stay, ask to see a demonstration of how they clean baby and what to do to take care of the umbilical cord stump.

8. Baby may need to undergo some UV treatment for jaundice. (Leah underwent that on the 3^rd day, I think.) Just remind nurses to bring baby back to you for nursing every 2.5 or 3 hours. By the way, that is the frequency that you should be nursing from day one. (Keep to this schedule up to at least 8 weeks, to ensure your milk supply is adequate and that baby is given all the nutrition he needs.)

9. Hubby can help to change diapers and check that baby is latched on properly. It is great if he sleeps over and can do the late night diaper changes while you rest.

10. You can shower and ablute as soon as you feel better in the hospital. You will feel so much better after that! (I know I did.)

11. Post-partum blues: Mine set in around 30 hours after delivery. I was suddenly scared and depressed that I won’t make a good mother (esp. since Leah slept so much and ate what I thought was so little), until my doc came to see me in the morning and said this is a natural reaction. It’s ok to be weepy!

Discharging from hospital
1. The hospital will take back baby’s swaddling blanket and gown (unless they’re generous). You can supply the nurses with the outfit you brought. They will put it on him after cleaning him. When they bring him back to you, you can wrap him in his own receiving blanket.

2. Hubby and you then make the appointments for follow-up checkups that will be in a week’s time. Yours and baby’s should be on the same day for convenience.

3. The hospital will give you forms to register baby. Hubby’s passport/PR card etc will be required.

4. Hubby will have to pay up and finalise the discharge process. It may need some running up and down, depending on where the cashier counter is. You should rest and look after baby.

5. Make sure to take the cord care stuff and all the things the hospital can give you (e.g. the leftover diapers, bottle of saline water to wash baby, maternity pads, etc).

6. Take your time to carefully pack your things and check that the room and toilet are empty of your belongings.

7. You may wish to get dad and mom to help bring all your barang back on discharge day. Remember that hubby will have to carry baby in the infant carrier/car seat to the car. (You should not be lifting anything heavier than baby for several weeks!) Or hubby will need to make a few trips to the car to put all the belongings in the boot, if you have a lot.

8. Put baby in the car seat/infant carrier, belt him up and leave together for the car. Hubby could fasten the seat (with baby) in the car and drive the car round to the front to get you – to save you from walking so much.

Post-delivery (at home)/ “Confinement”
1. You can shower and wash your hair. Just make sure it’s done in the daytime and that you are dry and warmly dressed before you come out of the bathroom (esp. if you have air-con in the room).
Your doc will probably give you some medication and/or cream/ointment for your wound.

Note: Your pregnancy books should have information on the medical (biological) side of what happens after delivery. And the doctors (yours and baby’s) will let you know about the follow-ups.

2. You can engage a Malay masseuse now, and drink the Chinese/ Malay herbal stuff. (Although, my paediatrician had advised against taking herbal potions for the first 2 weeks to prevent infant jaundice from occurring.)
The Malay lactation nurse who was looking after me said that the Malays believe eating bananas is not so good while breastfeeding as it may lead to baby getting diarrhoea.
Continue to take the vitamin pills given to you during your pregnancy.

3. Breastfeeding: Make sure you stick to a 2.5-3 hr feed schedule round the clock. It means waking baby up even if he’s sleeping and waking in the night to feed him. If he screams for food feed him too.
It’s ok to go up to only 15 mins at each feed. That’s what Leah could accomplish before falling sound asleep. But if baby wants more, that’s great; let him!
Always have a large tumbler of water (plain is better) beside you while feeding baby, as you will get very dehydrated and the fluids will replenish your milk supply.

4. Keep a logbook to record feed times, length of feed, which breast was fed on, poo times, poo type, etc. This helps you to monitor if baby is developing correctly, and you won’t forget which breast you last fed him on. (Important to single side feed in the early days.) A B4 or A4 size diary will do, preferably one with a day a page.

5. You can also engage a midwife to do post-natal visits at home. She will check on your stitches, advise on exercise, check your breastfeeding technique, weigh and measure baby, and advise on baby care (e.g. on cradle cap) and development.
I found such a service very useful. One, it reassured me that Leah was growing well. Two, that my breastfeeding was fine. These regular checkups make good information for by the time you get to see the paediatrician it may be a month or two later. You can ask the midwife any- and everything concerning baby and yourself.
I believe in Singapore that Birth and Beyond, Mother and Child et al provide such post-natal services.

6. Your pre-natal classes should have covered baby cord care. Use the alcohol swabs to gently wipe round the area connecting the cord to the navel at baby cleaning times. Once the cord falls off (it can take as long as 2 weeks) you could keep it as a souvenir!

Other baby issues such as colic, reflux etc are covered in the book What to expect: The First Year. A lot of useful information: breastfeeding, diet, baby's developmental milestones etc, is inside.

Other Resources/ Additional info
Foods to avoid - PREGNANCY and Diet
www.parentingjoy.com
www.bimandruth.com/daniel/resources.htm
www.fourtrimesters.com
Baby Bonus (SG)
New Mothers' Support Group - Singapore
Babies and Sleep
La Leche League (www.lalecheleague.org)
Breastfeeding.com (www.breastfeeding.com)

Forums for S’pore moms and pregnant women
www.baybsupplies.biz/forum/default.asp
www.singaporemotherhood.com/cgi-bin/forumboard/discus.cgi?pg=topics
IDOBABY.com - Singapore's Baby and Parenting Portal