The subtitle for this post might as well be "How I Survived the Doubters and Self-doubt". As a first-time mom nursing, it's been a challenge fending off unwanted comments and advice. These are usually well-meaning and have the welfare of Leah and me at heart, but they haven't done a lot for my morale.
My aim, especially since I am a stay-at-home-mom, is to breastfeed Leah as long as possible, hopefully 2 years. I love holding her and feeling her warm and safe against me. It is also wonderful knowing that I am giving her something wholesome and good.
It would appear that we in modern Asian society have become estranged from what used to be a very automatic and natural part of Asian life. In the past 30 odd years, there has been a lack of information and understanding of what breastfeeding is all about and in modern Singapore and Malaysia, I have had to endure some strange ideas and comments, such as:
1. You're so thin (with the unspoken query of "Are you sure your milk supply will be enough?")
There is absolutely no need to put on weight in order to breastfeed successfully! As long as I am not on some crazy diet (and I was always on the skinny side), and I eat balanced meals and keep myself sufficiently hydrated everyday, then I should have adequate milk supply, thank you very much.
2. You should think of supplementing now that Leah is so big
While I may have enough milk to allow Leah to double her birth weight in 3 months, the doubters think that now this milk is not enough! But I have no intention of giving Leah any 'supplements' this early.
If I interpret what they mean correctly, supplements probably means "solid food". I think because traditionally Asians (from farmers to city slickers) have introduced solids to babies at a very early stage, with porridge to morsels of adult meals, there is still the notion that breast milk is not enough to meet babies' nutritional needs.
Today, however, paediatricians recommend to exclusively breastfeed up to 6 months, and to keep breastfeeding for as long as possible after that. In baby's first year, breast milk should make up 75% of baby's nutritive needs.
So again, if Leah is healthy and thriving, I don't see why I shouldn't start solids only at 6 months.
3. Only breastfeed up to 80% capacity; don't feed her till she is full or she will become too fat
This is probably the strangest advice I have heard so far. Chubby babies are what invented the term "baby fat"! Babies need the hind milk that long feeds provide to create fat reserves that they will eventually burn off when they start crawling and walking. Besides, not emptying the breast will hurt milk supply because the body will be conditioned to generate only the limited amount that is needed.
The above are just a sample of what external forces rage against the nursing mother. But on my own, I have had to battle my own doubts.
As every first-time nursing mother knows, it is difficult to assess whether one's milk supply is adequate: is baby getting enough is the question that assails. And the only tangible answers are baby's wees, poos and weight gain.
I have thus been a bit obsessed with Leah's poos, constantly wondering why this shade of green, why not pooing so often, why that etc. My consolation has been the weighing scale and each visit of the midwife's or to the paediatrician is always a bit stressful till I find out how heavy she has become and how long she's grown.
In Leah's first 8 weeks I engaged a midwife to make house visits. Her pronouncements have been most welcome in answering my critics and my own inner gremlin: on her last visit when I expressed my doubt about how well Leah was growing, the midwife turned to me surprised and asked rhetorically, "Look at that double chin. Does that tell you she is underweight?"
These days I am a bit more relaxed about my milk supply, seeing the rolls of fat on Leah's thighs and her barrel of a tummy, but I still have other issues to contend: forceful let-down being a prime one.
Because Leah has dropped her middle of the night feed, I have been experiencing terrible engorgement. Leah has consequently not been very happy to find milk spraying her when she breakfasts. Hopefully this will soon pass as my body adjusts to her new routine, but in the meantime I have been trying all the tricks the experts advise: from leaning back to allow gravity to stem the flow, to single side feed her within a 3-4 hour block. All with varying success.
To keep my morale up when things flag I always recall the time I met a Singaporean mother at a nursing station several weeks ago. I had complimented her on having such a bonny son, and she proudly said that he is 14 months and that it is all from breastfeeding. Curious, I asked her how she managed to keep at it for so long, and she said that she only expressed at 6 months, adding the milk to the cereal she gave him when she introduced solids. She then wished me well on my own nursing adventure.
I shall persevere...
*****
- Breastfeeding Q&A from iVillage
- kellymom: Breastfeeding and Parenting
- Breastfeeding myths
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