who is a homo? (warning: non-p.c. post)

story #1: sweets r thicker than blood
we have just come home from a very short weekend away in the gold coast, queensland, with a couple of friends. the bean is very fond of this couple and "uncle jon" is always entertaining, although not always with age-appropriate speech and/or games.

on this trip uncle jon decided to tease dh by trying to get the bean to either say: "daddy is a homo" or "humpty daddy" (after humpty-dumpty). for 2 days the bean resisted jon's attempts at brainwashing, adamantly insisting, "noooooo. daddy not homo. it's not humpty daddy. it's humpty dumpty."

then over lunch on saturday, after she'd been egged about this for a while, the bean declared almost exasperatedly, "uncle jon is a homo!", making the entire table roar with laughter as we took in jon's redfaced chagrin.

to his credit, jon took this in his stride, although a bit later he did muse, "hmmm. how did i become the homo?" to which the half-dozen replies were in the vein of "you reap what you sow."

probably encouraged by the delighted response of everybody at the table (there were about 8 of us) the bean kept to her declaration and didn't waver...that is, till jon finally found a way to overcome this.

sunday. today. we were heading home. at an outdoor cafe of the gold coast airport. the bean had still been sure uncle jon was the homo. then jon took out a packet of jelly babies.

jon to the bean: would you like one?
bean immediately reached out her grubby fingers.
jon: who is the homo?
bean pointed to his wife. jon shook his head. the bean immediately pointed to dh.
jon: yeeeessss! well done! daddy is a homo! (and gave her the sweet)
bean: thank you uncle jon.
jon: you want another one?
bean stretched out her grubby hand again.
jon: what do you say?
bean: daddy is a homo!
dh: how easily loyalty is bought by sweets.
jon, in glee: sweets are thicker than blood obviously.

story #2: turn it off
when we were in the taxi going home from the airport, the bean entertained herself with a couple of her favourite nursery rhymes - 'ding dong bell' & 'sweetly sings the donkey' - tunelessly sung and lisped in places too (e.g. "sing" becomes "hing").

but as she became more engrossed by her own performance, the decibels started increasing. finally, both dh and i turned to the bean and softly went, "shhhh."

to which the bean quickly added, "too noisy. turn it off."

story #3: i told you
i cooked rice with carrots and ham for her dinner tonight and placed the dish on her little table as per usual. when the bean was finally persuaded to eat her dinner before watching "telly", she said, "i going to bring this to the big table."

i didn't really hear what she had said and only reacted when dh asked her, "honey, what are you doing?" - he'd noticed her carrying her bowl and was naturally a bit concerned.

our queries and admonishment made the bean indignant, and she said, "i bringing it to the big table! i told you!"